He turns to me. “Are you sure you’re feeling one hundred percent better? Because if you’re not, I’ll cancel everything and come back with you. And I know you don’t want to hear it, but it’s not okay that you’re returning to your apartment. Duncanhas arranged security, and a real estate agent will call you first thing Monday. She has a list ofsafeliving options and—”
“Oh my gosh. I’m fine,” I say. But I have to admit that as overbearing as he can be, it’s sweet that he’s concerned. It feels good to have someone else looking out for me. I’ve been taking care of everyone for so long. Tears prick behind my eyes for what seems like the fiftieth time today already. And it’s not even noon.
“Stop looking at me like that, baby,” Sebastian groans. He pulls me roughly into his arms.
“I’m sorry. I just… I’m just not good with goodbyes. Oh! And I need to give you your ring back.”
His frown is ferocious. “Keep it. It’s yours. And this isnotgoodbye. It’s more like… talk soon. I mean, it sucks because I can’t make love to you properly over the phone. But hey, maybe this will unlock a phone sex kink. I mean, it will if it involves you,” he says with a quirk of his brow.
A gulp of laughter escapes through the tears I’m desperately trying to hold back. I want to believe him. I really, really do. But we’re still so new. And we’ve never defined what we are to each other beyond fake fiancés, a long-weekend fling, and friends with benefits who care about each other.
Maybe I’d be less worried if I didn’t already have first-hand experience with the heartbreak of long-distance relationships. Which I know is silly because I was still a kid back then. But my ex was my first… everything, and I thought I could trust him.
He stares into my eyes. “You don’t believe me, do you?”
“I want to, Sebastian,” I say. “I know I should take things as they come and not worry about the future, but…”
“Fuck that, Em. I’ve already told you. This isnotcasual. I wantyou. I wantus. And not just for the weekend.”
“You say that now. But long distance relationships are hard, even without the whole Hollywood thing.”
“This is about your ex, isn’t it? Give me his name. I’ll put a hit on him. I’m absolutely sure Duncan’s got skills.”
I give him a ghost of a smile. “Sebastian, we’re in different worlds now. You’reyou. You have this huge movie star life. And I’mme. I’m normal.” I see the look on his face at my words, and I rush out, “After all these years, Iwantnormal. I want a solid, grounded life. But I’m afraid normal will never be enough for you. Your next few years are one long cross-country adventure, going from film set to movie premiere to press junket. I’m so damn proud of how hard you’ve worked to get here. And I want this for you. But how will we work if we’re never even in the same time zone? You deserve someone who can be with you every step of the way. Who will be sparkling on the red carpet next to you. That’s not me. ”
“I will always wantyou, Em. We can figure out the rest. If you believe in us. If you believe in me.”
There’s a knock on the car window.
“Fuck,” Sebastian says. He presses a button to roll the window down.
“I’m sorry to disturb you, but the pilot says there’s bad weather coming, so he needs to take off soon.”
Sebastian nods. “She’ll be there in a minute.” His eyes are determined when he turns back to me. “Just give us time. I know you’re afraid of being hurt. Of this not working. But I am too. Despite what you may have seen in the past, this isn’t some short-term interest for me.”
I raise my eyebrow. “Like your obsession with roller derby?”
He barks out a laugh. “See, that’s the thing about you. You can make me laugh even when my heart is in my throat. And that comparison isn’t fair. You mean more to me than roller derby.”
“But below hang gliding?”
“Above hang gliding. Aboveeverything.”He makes a sound of frustration. “I’ll be blowing up your phone until you’re sick of me. Just give us this chance.Please.”
I bite my lip and take a deep, cleansing breath. In with tremulous hope. Out with fear. “Okay,” I whisper.
His eyes go wide, as if he isn’t sure if he heard me right. “Okay?” His voice breaks on the word.
I nod. My eyes shine back at him. “Okay.”
“Fuck, yes!” he says, whooping so loud that the driver and flight attendant talking by the plane turn in surprise.
I laugh but look at him, still afraid this will decimate my heart. “We can take things slow and see. You’re filming for the next three months.”
“I told you, I can try to visit whenever I get a chance.”
I shake my head. “I know what your contract is like. I was there when you signed it. Patricia Alvarez expects total commitment from her actors, and she made you sign in blood that your time was hers for the next three months.”
“I’ll figure it out.”
