“With you, I don’t count on anything.” My smile dims.
His brows draw together. “You’re my favorite person. Count on that,” he says softly.
“Your favorite person. Who you avoided for the past ten years? Sure,” I scoff.
“Daisy—”
I close my eyes. “Nope. Never mind. Not going to do that. Not ruining my lovely orgasm with bullshit,” I announce. That insecure girl in me wants to hear all the pretty words, no matter the cost. But I know that whatever he tells me right now can’t be entirely trusted. Not that he’d lie, precisely. But he’d couch the truth to avoid hurting me. I’ve deluded myself long enough about what we are and what we’re not. And I don’t want lies between us, not tonight.
Tomorrow will come soon enough.
CHAPTER 28
Ryder
(TEN YEARS AGO) RYDER’S JOURNAL
Everything’s fucked up now. Last night, I went for a night swim to clear my mind from Daisy’s birthday celebration, from the adoration in her eyes and her fleeting kiss on my cheek.
Unfortunately, the swim didn’t work. I was still wound up, distracted, when I walked into my bedroom an hour later, wet, wearing a towel.
And there she was.
Daisy, sitting in the middle of my giant king bed, looking small and scared but determined.
The girl who, against all odds, had become my friend and confidante. The girl who made me smile with just a look. Who was wise beyond her years. Who understood the breaks in me because she was broken herself.
She was staying with us because she was vulnerable and needed a safe haven. Which is why I could never take advantage of that trust.
So when I saw her sitting cross-legged in the middle of my bed in just a sleep shirt, I turned and left. I left the room and the house and didn’t return until the next morning, when my bed was empty once again.
(NOW)
I loom above Daisy, meeting her raw gaze, and I feel like, maybe for the first time, I’m getting a glimpse at what lies beneath the sparkle.
Mine.
That word rockets through my brain. Her eyes are stark. I feel the vulnerability in her. The needs she can’t mask.
“Are you finally going to kiss me, rock star?” she asks, her chin tilting up.
Mine.
I give her a half smile. “Didn’t I already?”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
So I do as she commands. I take her sassy pink lips and drown myself in her.
Our mouths are puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly. Over and over, we come together, then break apart to catch gasps of air.
Her hands grasp my back, pulling me closer. I’m shaking with restraint, trying to go slowly.
“Are you sure?” I ask. “I told you I’d wait. I don’t want to do anything you’ll regret.”
“I don’t need a gentleman tonight. And I sure as hell don’t need your restraint. What I need is you wanting me so badly, you’ll do anything to have me.” Her voice catches.
I groan, low and deep. “You have me. Because I can’t do anything else.”
