But mostly, it’s being with Daisy.
What’s the harm in singing one little song? It obviously means something to her. And I can’t seem to save myself from the compulsion to do anything she asks, just to see her smile.
And that’s what scares me most of all.
CHAPTER 25
Daisy
(TEN YEARS AGO)
Dear Diary,
Everything’s changing. Chase is meeting with lawyers about my situation. I think he paid my mom off so she wouldn’t cause me any trouble. And he’s found me a nice family to live with once the school year starts. He says I’ll be happy with them. That I deserve a normal life.
My birthday’s in a few days, and I’ll be seventeen. I’d hoped that Ryder would look at me differently then. We’ll finally be the same age, at least for a short while. But he’s been spending more time with Helena lately.
And I worry that it’s not just summer that’s slipping away from me.
(NOW)
I may have miscalculated when I insisted on coming to thisparty. And in challenging Ryder to sing again.
I knew it would do him good. I know he feels like he’s lost his music. But he hasn’t. He just needs to rediscover it in a place of no pressure. Somewhere he remembers to play just for the joy of it. Not for the crowds or money or adulation.
But I keep forgetting that his feelings are not my problem anymore. That I have to keep my distance.
Which is why it was stupid as hell to sign Ryder up to sing tonight. Because when he sings, I’m lost. Especially because he performed one of his new songs. It was romantic, a sad sort of love song. He may have written it for the Max Thunder movie. But it felt like he was singing it just for me.
“Oh my, it was like he was eye-fucking you from the stage,” Margery told me after his performance, when I was trying to come down from the high.
“Margery! He was not.”
“It’s true. I’ve been the recipient of plenty of eye-fucking in my day. I know it when I see it.”
“Oh, Daisy, dear. I’d love to talk to you,” Mrs. Landry says, interrupting us. I know Mrs. Landry from Ed’s and also from the corgi playdates.
“Sure, Mrs. L. What’s up?”
Ryder finally breaks from his adoring crowd and approaches me. He’s holding two drinks in his hands.
“Here,” he says. “I thought we could use some water.”
“Afraid I’m going to get drunk?” I say with an eyebrow raised. But I take the water with secret gratitude. Iamthirsty after having several glasses of wine.
“You were amazing onstage,” Mrs. Landry says shyly to the star.
“Very virile.” Margery grins.
Ryder nods to them in greeting, but doesn’t comment. He’s watching me intently.
“You were saying, Mrs. Landry?” I turn back to the older woman.
“Yes. Um.” She glances at Ryder. But then carries on. “My daughter and her husband live in London. She’s a professor and has the opportunity to do a sabbatical at MIT for a semester. But they have several large dogs, one being a Bernese mountain dog. So, you see, it would be difficult to bring them over for such a short time. They’re thinking about not taking the offer because of it, even though it’s an amazing opportunity. Their dogs are like their babies.”
“Oh no. That would be a shame if they couldn’t take the job.”
“If they had someone they could trust to pet-sit, they might change their minds. And then I thought of the perfect idea. What if you could pet sit for them? Would you be free? You did say this”—she eyes Ryder—“situation”—she uses air quotes—“is just temporary.”
