“I still don’t understand why we’re even having a watch party,” Emma says. “We could have hit Ryder up for tickets and gone to the awards ourselves. You know how good the networking would be?”
“What do you need to network for?” Sebastian asks, his frown becoming even more pronounced. “You have me. That’s all the network you need.”
Chase shrugs. “None of us knew for sure if we’d be in LA now. Plus, those shows are boring as hell. I avoid them even when I’m up for an award.”
“Shh,” Olivia says, like a librarian. “We’re missing the red carpet.”
I watch the television with a lump in my throat and dread churning in my belly.
“So tonight, Ryder’s going to soft-launch your breakup, right?” Chase says, as if he can read my mind. “My publicist said that the plan is for him to attend with Briana Akamine.”
Fuck. This is why I almost said no when Olivia suggested we all get together to watch Ryder at the Music Awards and celebrate Avery wearing my dress to the after-party.
“Damn, good on Ryder. Briana’s fucking fire,” Sebastian says admiringly.
My stomach dips, and Emma shoots Sebastian a dirty look.
“What?”
“She’s not as hot as Daisy,” Olivia retorts.
“Did it feel weird? That the world thought you were an item? That the two of you werefake-dating?” Emma asks, making quote marks with her fingers when she says the word fake. My eyes dart to see if Chase picked up on it, but he’s focused on selecting a piece of sushi from the tray on the coffee table.
“Nope. Not weird at all,” I lie. Nothing to see here, folks.
“It’s Ryder!” Olivia says, waving her arms to shush us again. She’s good at that. She really should have been a librarian. But then again, she worked in a bookstore, so it’s close enough. She turns up the volume with the remote. “Oh wow, he looks great in that suit.”
Fuck me, he does. I raise my glass of champagne to my lips and realize that my hand is shaking. I take a sip and set down the flute, my eyes glued to the large-screen television.
He cleans up damn well. He looks so incredibly handsome, clean-shaven, in a classic black suit and black shirt. Though he appears relaxed, I know it’s deceptive. I can tell by the set of his jaw and the slight narrowing of his eyes that he’s tense.
God, I want him.
I blow out a breath and think about what Ryder said on the phone. About us getting our final week. Maybe even more. But even with the Ryder-sized hole in my life, I know I couldnever be happy accepting less than his entire heart, accepting temporary. I care too much to keep prolonging something if it doesn’t have a future.
That is still true.
But how do I know that we don’t have a future? I suspect it. But I haven’t told him how I truly feel. I haven’t told him what I truly want. Yes, he could reject me. But would that be any worse than me being here, afraid to even try?
I’ve been thinking about what Avery said. About taking risks. I’ve been so busy guarding my heart. I need to start going after my dreams again. I’d very much like to have a bespoke fashion design business. And I have another dream that might involve Ryder Black.
It’s something to think about.Later.When Ryder isn’t about to possibly launch our break up on live television.
A reporter holds up a microphone to Ryder. “Congratulations on your Music Awards nominations tonight. But I have to ask because your fans are wondering, where’s your date for the evening?”
I brace myself for it.
“My girl’s not here,” he says straight into the camera.
“Do you mean Daisy Lane?” she asks. “The world is talking about the two of you.”
“She couldn’t make it tonight,” he says smoothly.
My mouth opens in surprise.
“I thought tonight was supposed to be the breakup.” Chase looks over at me. “Do you know what he’s doing?”
My pulse beats overtime.
