I smile and we move about the party, chatting and mingling, but in my head, there’s a clock that’s ticking down.
CHAPTER19
14 DAYS TO CHRISTMAS (STILL)
Poppy
“Great party, sis,”Rose says, coming up to me while I’m having a cooling break outside. I’m not just overheated from the house. I’m hot from standing next to Ronan for most of the anniversary party. He stayed near the whole time. It might be because my family can be intimidating and loud, but the delusional part of me imagines that maybe it’s because he craves my company.
Because, ditto.
I’m such a goner for him.
I paste on a smile and face my sister. “Thanks. I’m glad you and Kevin were able to make it.”
“You know I wouldn’t miss Mom and Dad’s thirtieth anniversary.” She grimaces. “I’d never hear the end of it.”
“True.” I laugh. “It would be nothing but guilt trips from now till the end of time.” I study Rose. “How are you? Really?”
“I’m good. Great. Don’t look at me that way, Poppy. I know you were surprised by the wedding.”
“I wasn’t against it. It’s just that you never wanted to get married. And then suddenly, you plan a whirlwind wedding.”
“And just when you broke up with the man you thought you’d marry. I know the timing wasn’t the best.”
“Hey, this isn’t about me. Now that everything has calmed down, I want to make sure you’re happy.”
“I am, sis. I really am. I know I said I didn’t want to get married, but I’d never been in love before, not with someone who loved me back and treated me well. I’d always fall for the bad boys who made me cry. But Kevin isn’t like that. He brings out the best in me. And I do the same for him. It’s okay to change your mind. Change is good.”
She smiles gently. “For example, it’s a good thing you broke up with Derek. You decided you wanted to marry him when you were both so young. And you stuck with it because you’re way too loyal. Now, you know better. And Mom and Dad may not agree, but it’s not a bad thing you lost your teaching position. Your whole world might be upside down, but that means you can gain a new perspective. You have a unique opportunity to make your life whatever you want it to be.”
“There have definitely been a few surprises lately,” I say with a wry smile.
“See, that’s what I’m talking about. I never thought you’d be shacking up with a movie star.” Rose laughs.
“That makes two of us.” I want to say more. Rose had always been my confidante growing up, but we’ve grown apart in the years since she moved to New York City. And I still don’t feel comfortable talking about whatever is happening between Ronan and me. He needs more than the average amount of privacy. And even if he didn’t, I’m not sure I understand it myself.
“I hope you’re not going to let Mom and Dad talk you into taking a job you don’t want,” Rose says. “I know you’re scared and you don’t want to disappoint them. But it’s your life, not theirs.”
“I’m not sure. Taking that position makes a lot of sense.”
“God, Poppy. Sometimes I want to shake you until you get out of your rut. I thought since losing the dead weight of Derek and taking on this nanny job on the spur of the moment that you’d come out of your comfort zone. Sadie told me about the space on Main Street that opened up. You always dreamed of having your own art studio, even when you were a kid. There was a time you even wanted to be an artist and go to New York with me.”
She tilts her head and takes a sip of wine. “What happened to that girl, Poppy?”
I take her wineglass. “How many glasses of this have you had? You always play therapist when you’ve had too many.”
Rose stares me down with her hand held out until I give her the wine back. She has a scary stare.
“Nothing happened,” I say. “I was a kid. I don’t want to be a ballerina now either.”
“It’s more than that. You were never the same after what happened with Dad. After that, you just gave up on your dreams and fell in line with everyone else’s expectations. You’ve been living like that ever since.”
I draw in a sharp breath at her words, my stomach churning with nerves. In our family, my sister has always been the one to cause storms, and I’m the storm whisperer. She never shied away from turmoil, and my instinct is to smooth things over. I guess I’d thought it was my job to fix things after what happened with my dad. It was my job to stay home and make sure everyone was okay.
“It wasn’t your fault, you know. You need to move on from it.”
I wince, knowing what she’s referring to. I told her about the fight one night soon after it happened.
