I was not born in the Shadow Court, and therefore I have no such mark. Being half-human, I doubt they would have given me one if I had.
“They told the villagers to unhand me. I asked to be taken to the Shadow Court, as is my birthright. They could not refuse me.” She lets the sleeve fall. “That is when I began my work in the army, doing everything it took to climb the ranks. As a daughter of the House of the Dark Dagger, I was awarded certain privileges.”
She says the word like it tastes sweet.
“Why didn’t you look for us?”
The question drops between us, and her expression shifts a fraction. A tightening around her eyes.
“As soon as the villagers arrived for me, I told Shamus to run long and hard. I knew you would be in danger for being who youwere and for being magically gifted. I didn’t want eyes to turn to you. I couldn’t have it.” She folds her hands in her lap. “I knew that staying away was your best chance for survival. I hoped that you would heed my advice and never use the power gifted to you.” Her face softens. “I’m glad you did, and that you are here.” She smiles warmly. “It is so good to see you, daughter.”
I sit next to her.
“So you stayed away to protect me?” I ask in a breathy voice that doesn’t sound like me at all.
“Everything I have done has been to protect you, including rising up the ranks. I knew that one day my power might end up being your salvation.” She straightens, and there is command in the set of her spine. “I knew that if you ever found me, I could offer you a place. And I can. You can have a position as the General. It is time that Belen resigned. Give me a summer or two to make it happen.” Her eyes brighten. “And then one day you can be Ruler General. It is your legacy…your birthright.”
I force myself to smile.
It’s tough. Right now, I am grateful for all the times I had to pretend. I had to pretend I belonged, pretend that I was human, pretend that I was happy or grateful when I was neither. Summers of smiling when I wanted to scream. Summers of bowing my head when I wanted to spit.
Those summers trained me for this moment.
I hold the smile for as long as I can before it falters.
“It hurt us, Mother.” My voice thins. “I think your death drove Father into an early grave.” My voice wavers and almost breaks.
Her eyes gloss over. “I was too afraid to ask about Shamus.” A tear tracks down her cheek. “I never moved on. I never remarried. I still hold your father in my heart. I swear it.” She presses a hand to her chest. “I did what I had to do, what I know he would have wanted me to do. I’m not proud of every decisionI made, but I made them all out of necessity. All for you, dear girl.”
She wipes the tear with the back of her hand and takes a breath.
Maybe she did. I pray she did.
“You spoke of Snow. How well do you know the queen?”
Her face breaks into a brilliant smile. I realize that she is proud of herself. “I am a friend to the queen…one of a choice few. It took great effort. Five whole summers of striving to stand out before I was awarded a captaincy position. Before I was finally invited to meet with her.” She lifts her chin. “She was impressed with me and my lineage…our lineage. She loved that I was a female, standing out among my male counterparts. We struck it off immediately.” Her gaze finds mine again, alight with something close to eagerness. “It was—”
“Haven’t you seen what is becoming of the realm?” I cut in, as anger rises in me unbidden. “The areas outside of the courts. The deadlands are growing. The last vestiges are becoming corrupt. Snow is killing the whole realm, Mother. Surely you have seen it for yourself?”
“No, she isn’t, dear child.” My mother waves a hand. “The courts remain unaffected.”
“The courts are small areas within vast rot.” I keep my voice even, though every part of me wants to shout. “Something must be done to stop her, before we all perish.”
“No, no.” My mother smiles at me and takes my hand. Her grip is warm and firm. It makes it worse somehow. “You have it all wrong. The courts are safe havens, and soon all of the realm will need to take refuge within them. Snow is amassing her power to grow the courts so that all may be accommodated within the domes.”
I pull in a sharp breath. “A safe haven, you say?” More like a prison.
“Exactly right, my girl.” My mother squeezes my hand.
It is clear to me now. My mother’s mind has been warped and infected by Snow. The rot has reached her, only it hasn’t turned her skin gray or her blood black. It has hollowed out her reason and filled the space with Snow’s lies.
“Don’t you see, Mother? She wants to control everyone and everything, and the best way to do it is to control the very land they live on.” I pull my hand free. “To control the food sources and the drinking water.” It is all so clear. “If she has everyone contained, corralled within her courts, then she has control over all. That has been her plan all along.”
I realize it with sickening clarity as I speak to myself more than to her.
My mother’s expression doesn’t change. She watches me the way you might watch a child who insists there are monsters under the bed.
“No, no, you have it all wrong. The humans continue to be a thorn in our side,” she says, as if I haven’t spoken. “The witches, too.”
