“I cannot believe you can be so calm!” Mrs Bennet exclaimed. “The first of my daughters, married! I never thought it would be you, Lizzy, but still it is very well.”
“Do not tell me you are upset now that I have found a husband? You have been urging me to get married since I was fifteen, Mama,” Elizabeth replied. Whatever her mother thought, she was anything but calm on the inside. She was terrified and heartsick, but if those emotions were invisible to anyone else, so much the better. Elizabeth did not wish her sisters to see how much she suffered. Their future happiness was the surest argument for going through with this marriage.
“It is time,” Jane said, coming up behind her and wrapping an arm around her waist. She gave her a light squeeze, then leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. “You are a vision, Lizzy. I know Mr Darcy will be pleased.”
Elizabeth’s emotions rose again, threatening to choke her. She turned away from the mirror and sniffed back her tears. “Yes, let us depart. We would not want to be late to the church and keep Mr Darcy waiting,” she said.
Jane put a hand on her arm, stopping her. “We will not get to say goodbye unless we do so now.”
Elizabeth did not protest, though she had wished to forego a long, raw farewell. Jane’s eyes filled with tears, and Elizabeth hugged her quickly so she could hide her face. “I will miss you,” Elizabeth said, her voice shaking. They pulled away, and Jane wiped Elizabeth’s tears.
“Do not cry, Lizzy. This is not the last time we shall see each other.”
Elizabeth suppressed a sob. “I know. It just seems like it will be a very long time before we will all be together again. Derbyshire is so far away.”
“I know. But you can write to us as often as you like. And we will write to you as well.”
“And when I am settled, I will send for you,” she whispered so no one else could hear. She had seen the looks on Mr Darcy’s face the few times he had interacted with her family. She did not think he would appreciate having the whole of the Bennet family under his roof, but surely no one could object to Jane. Surely her husband, no matter how stern, could not be so cruel as to forbid her from seeing all her family.
They went down to the foyer, where her father was waiting. The girls all said their goodbyes and wished her the best of luck. She did not feel the least bit lucky. She had simply been trying to help someone in need, and now she was being punished for it. But there was no use in regrets. The die had been cast, and now Elizabeth could do nothing but discover what the future held for her.
Because of the delicate nature of the wedding and the few days that had passed since it was arranged, only Mr Darcy, Elizabeth, and her parents would be in attendance. Her things had already been packed and loaded into Mr Darcy’s carriage, ready to depart directly after the ceremony.
Mrs Bennet chattered relentlessly, making up for the silence of her husband and her daughter. She was hardly silent for a moment during the carriage ride to the church. Elizabeth found herself grateful for the opportunity to say nothing, and for the semblance it gave of normality. It seemed like any other day, as though they were about to go shopping in Meryton or go onmorning calls. She did not at all feel as if she were going to the church to get married.
Her throat was as dry as a bone as she walked up the aisle after her parents. They each stood to the side, her mother on her side and her father behind Mr Darcy.
As the parson began the old, familiar words of the ceremony, Elizabeth lowered her eyes to the ground. All this seemed half a lie, for while her promises were real and unbreakable, they were made unwillingly. Her heart ached at the thought that she did not love the man she was marrying.
At that thought, Elizabeth chanced a glance up at her bridegroom. Mr Darcy, too, was making a great sacrifice to marry her. Had there been someone special in his life that would now have to give him up? She hated to think of that possibility. Surely, he would have said something if that had been the case.
“Miss Elizabeth?”
She was pulled from her reveries as the vicar called her name. Her head snapped up, and she felt her cheeks flame to life with a deep blush. “Forgive me,” she stammered. “What was that?”
He cleared his throat before again intoning the formal, archaic words of the ceremony. “Wilt thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?”
Everyone seemed to hold their breath. She could almost feel her mother’s eyes boring into her back. “Yes. I mean, I will,”she stumbled. She looked into Mr Darcy’s eyes for the first time since coming into the church. She had been too nervous before. Now Elizabeth regretted the decision to look at him. His face was utterly serious. The poor man must think that he had agreed to marry a fool. He must regret having ever followed her out of those woods. Perhaps it would have been better for them both if she had simply left him there.
Elizabeth turned her attention back to the vicar, determined to pay attention better this time, and not further shame herself or her family. He must think her a bumbling idiot.
For possibly the hundredth time, she replayed the fateful afternoon in her mind. Why had she not simply pointed him in the right direction? Why had she felt the need to show him the way? If she had simply explained how to get out of the woods, she could have been safely at home at that moment. As it was, the marriage ceremony would soon conclude, and she would be a married woman, trapped. She would leave her home forever.
They finished their vows without further incident. They had promised to love, honour, cherish, and obey. Surely there would be no love lost between them. It seems impossible that she could ever love someone so humourless and stern, someone she had been forced to marry for the sake of her family and reputation. She lowered her eyes to the stone floor.
“What God has brought together, let no man put asunder,” the parson pronounced.
Elizabeth caught her breath. It was done. She was married, but there was no joy in her heart, only an echoing emptiness where hope ought to have been. How would she ever be reconciled to this marriage?
The vicar announced them as man and wife, and they walked down the aisle together after signing the register. They stood on the stoop for a moment, saying goodbye to her parents.
Her mother embraced her, tears pouring down her cheeks. “I cannot believe it. Our Lizzy, married!” she exclaimed. “You will write to us, won’t you? As soon as you are settled?” Mrs Bennet asked, leaning back to look up at her.
Elizabeth cast a wary glance at her new husband. She was unsure if she would ever be settled. She did not even know the neighbourhood in which she would spend the rest of her life, only that it was in Derbyshire. “Yes, Mama. I will write as often as I can,” she said. Though the letters might be largely composed of polite lies intended to keep her family from worrying. She was unsure how she would survive the next few awkward months and years of settling into her new home. Would it ever really feel like her home? There were so many unknowns, she wanted to scream with the injustice of it all.
But etiquette demanded her silence.
Her father shook hands with Mr Darcy, then came to her. “I am very proud of you, Lizzy. I know that was not easy to accept. But you do look beautiful. And I hope he will be a worthy husband for you. I believe he will, from what I know of his character so far.”
