He seems taken aback by my declaration, but there is also relief. A sprinkling of hope that is completely out of place because he thinks I’m going back to my old ways. Perhaps, I will find my routine and forget thoughts of vengeance.
That will never happen.
I’m just realizing Marcus may not be the right person to address my request. The man he had been, cold, detached and ruthless with keeping the family business running, the man I remember from my childhood doesn’t exist anymore. He’s gone soft.
And while I will always love him, he is no use to me when I need him.
Tentatively, I rise up on my toes and kiss him.
“Thank you, Uncle Marcus.”
I don’t miss his startled blink, but I don’t stay to explain. The day has already started, and I won’t spend another moment waiting.
He doesn’t follow me when I start my way in the direction of my sanctuary. I hadn’t lied when I told him I would head there. Only, I have no desire to prune or plant.
My once pride and joy is a dissolute and forgotten wasteland of drooping leaves and the faint hint of death that hits me the moment I step over the threshold. It’s a sticky sweet stench of rotting meat and wet soil.
Odd, but immediately forgotten with my single-minded focus along the winding curve cutting deeper, further towards the heart.
“I think you need a fountain here.” Eliah pointed to the center of the greenhouse.
I considered it, but a fountain meant losing a chunk of space we just opened up.
“I think more plants,” I decided.
“You can’t just have plants. You spend the most time here. You should have a place to sit and enjoy your work.”
He had a point.
“What if I run out of room again?”
His smile was sweet when he answered, “We’ll build you another greenhouse.”
While the idea of multiple greenhouses where I can grow all year round did sound lovely, I hesitated. “That’s so much wasted water.”
Without a shred of irritation, Eliah stepped over to me and wrapped me in his arms.
“We’ll do whatever you want.” His lips brushed the tip of my nose. “Whatever makes you happy.”
That’s all either of them ever wanted — to make me happy. To do everything in their power to make my life easy. I could have turned the entire house into one giant garden, and they would simply let me.
I turn to face my dried and wilted plants, and blink.
I stop.
My feet splash in water to the ankles. Cold, dank walls stare back at me, as confused as I am by my presence … wherever I am.
The candle in my hand shivers with my turn.
I’m by the chapel.
I don’t remember leaving the greenhouse, but I suppose thinking of my boys, my feet have brought me to them.
So, I go.
I close the few steps to the chapel doors and stare at their resting places.
Still here.
