Ames with his hair unbound, grin crooked and mischievous. Eliah stands at his side, paint splattered and grinning. The sight of them together, peering down into a small bassinet draped in lace kicks me square in the gut.
“Ames? Eliah?”
Their names are choked whispers, too afraid of being too loud and breaking off in a weak sob when their heads come up in my direction.
“There’s our girl,” Eliah teases. “Hey, baby.”
“You did good, Lenny. She looks just like her momma.”
Pain lances through my very soul and I’m scrambling off the bed. Ames catches me and I wrap my arms around his neck tight enough that I know I’m crushing him.
“You came back. You came back,” I sob into his shoulder.
I’m pulled away just long enough to get pulled into Eliah’s chest.
“No, baby, this is just a dream, but you’ll see us again. Promise.”
I wail into his chest, fingers fisted in his top.
“No, please. Please, don’t leave me again. Please.”
Ames circles my waist from behind and nuzzles the back of my neck.
“You have to go back, Lenny. Our daughter needs you.”
“Hey.” Eliah forces my face up to his. “We’re not going anywhere. We’ll be right here watching her grow up.”
“We love you,” Ames whispers. “Always. Forever.”
My chest won’t stop heaving as I clutch them tighter and beg them not to go.
“Take care of Dad,” Eliah murmurs, pressing his brow to mine. “He needs you.”
“And live,” Ames adds almost playfully. “We will be very upset with you if you cry for us anymore.”
“I don’t want to live without you,” I weep.
“Then live for her.” Eliah gestures to Ella, sleeping soundly in her tiny bed. “Day by day. Then, one day, when it’s time, we’ll be right here waiting for you.”
“Why can’t I see you again before that?”
“Because you can’t stay in your dreams.”
“Promise us, Lenny,” Ames urges. “Promise that you will live fully and without reservations. That you will give our daughter a life full of everything we promised we’d give her.”
I nod even as I hiccup. “Promise.”
They both smile and I feel the whisper of their mouths over mine.
“Also,” Ames tips my face back to his, “I better not see you without your hat when you’re in your garden. I will be watching.”
“And put our caskets back in the cemetery. Ella doesn’t need to see that.”
I promise that I will and hold them even tighter, desperate to drag them back to the other side with me.
“Love you,” Eliah murmurs.
“Love you,” I cry harder. “Love you so much.”
