“And if they whisper?”
“They already do.”
“And if they decide you are ambitious?”
“They already think I am foolish,” Margaret said. “To them, I am practically on the shelf as it is. There is no harm in making them change their minds. If anything, it is what must be done for our family to survive.”
Her mother closed her eyes for a moment. Margaret noticed then just how much her mother had aged in the last few months. She was under immense pressure, they both were, and Margaret willed herself to show her some grace.
“You sound older than your years.”
“I feel older than my years,” Margaret said. “Walking with him will help, though. I am not quite old enough that they will think he is courting an old maid, at least.”
“That is true,” her mother laughed softly. “Did he give any instruction?”
“He said I should wear something simple,” Margaret said. “He said the point is not spectacle. He said he will meet me at the gate by the Serpentine.”
“Then we must decide how you will go.”
“It is already decided,” Margaret said. “I am to attend with our maid. He did not invite a chaperone.”
Her mother’s mouth thinned. Margaret assumed that it was because she was hoping to accompany them, for she had not had much reason to leave the household of late.
“He did not need to, I suppose. The park will provide a hundred chaperones.”
Her mother rose and moved to the window. The street outside held the late clatter of carts and voices, sounds that she would soon be among.
“I want you to be careful,” her mother warned. “You are not being carried along by this man’s plans without thinking of yourself. I know that you are thinking of us all, and I am of course thrilled about that, but we cannot let too much time pass without a proposal.”
“I am thinking of myself too, I can assure you,” Margaret said. “I am choosing this, and that is because I believe it is best.”
“I do not know that that is reason enough.”
“It is a human one,” Margaret said. “I told you that he is not cruel, and I meant it. When I speak, he does not talk over me. When I hesitate, he waits. When I refuse, he does not push. He is patient, Mama, and that means everything when it comes to such matters as a courtship.”
And not one word was a lie, to her surprise. He was a kind man, one that had offered to protect her without second thought, and though she did not know that she could trust it, she did want to. Her mother studied her face, and Margaret was pleased that she was thinking honestly.
“Has he refused you anything?” she asked.
“He refuses to explain himself,” Margaret said. “But he does not refuse me my dignity, and I cannot hope for more than that.”
Her mother crossed the room and set her hands on Margaret’s shoulders.
“Very well, walk with him, but you will remember who you are when you do.”
“I know who I am,” Margaret said.
“Tell me.”
“I am your daughter,” Margaret said. “There is little more to it than that.”
Her mother’s grip tightened, then eased. She gave a small nod, one that Margaret resented. She wished to be more than the eldest Fairleigh child, but that was all that she had ever been.
Her mother stepped back.
“Wear the blue pelisse. It suits you.”
“You always say that.”
