“I am glad,” she said after a moment.
“For what?”
“That your burden is easing.”
“It is not yet finished.”
“But it soon will be.” She tilted her head slightly. “Once I am settled, you will not need to hide me here.”
“That is the intention.”
“And then?”
Nathaniel did not answer immediately, for in truth he did not know. Eliza studied him carefully.
“Then you may begin living again.”
“I have never stopped.”
“You know what I mean.”
Eliza folded her hands in her lap. He had changed how he lived, but that had not entirely been her fault. He had to shoulder the blame in equal measure.
“I hope my husband looks at me the way that you look at your wife,” she said suddenly.
“I do not know what you mean.”
“I saw it,” she continued gently. “When she spoke to the servants. When she crossed the room. You follow her with your eyes as though you cannot help it.”
“That is merely your imagination.”
“No it is not. You may think yourself subtle, but you are not.”
“I have no interest in discussing sentiment.”
“Perhaps that is the problem.”
Nathaniel turned fully toward her now.
“My marriage,” he said evenly, “exists because circumstances demanded it.”
“Yes.”
“It solved a scandal.”
“I am more than aware.”
“It ensured your safety.”
“As well as your own, but that is not how you speak of her.”
“And how do I speak of her?”
He said it in a harsher tone than she deserved, but he could not help it. He was more than aware of the fact that he found his wife endearing, and that he had promised to make an effort, but that did not mean that he could love her.
He did not know what love looked like, and he certainly did not know how to be the man she deserved.
“You speak of her as though you love her,” Eliza explained. “And it is nice to see after what happened with–”
