Some days I would see no one at all.I felt like a ghost, already haunting the halls I would die in.
I knew no more of Yann’s fate than I did when I first arrived.I wrote to him as Raleigh suggested, but no reply ever came.It wasn’t just Yann either.Every day I wrote letters to Father, to Johanna, sometimes even to the people I hadn’t considered friends in years.I told them nothing of my own circumstances but assured them I was safe and implored them for news.Was Yann alive?Why had he never replied?Had the dam been dismantled?Every day I handed the stack to Moira, who swore she had sent them on, but not even Father answered my pleas.
I soon discovered why.One morning, while forcing down Moira’s best attempt at a semmel, I spotted a splash of red glinting in theunswept hearth.I abandoned my bread to investigate, crouching amidst the ashes while I used the poker to scrape the item towards me.It was still sticky to the touch, gritty with ash, but misshapen and reformed as it was, it was undeniably sealing wax.
Raleigh.Hot rage began to coil inside me.He’d been burning my letters, the absolute bastard.He had already brought me here against my will, isolated me from my family and forced me to work like a slave in his horrible spider’s nest of a library and he couldn’t let me have this one luxury.
I slumped against the wall, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes, and hurled a handful of ash towards Raleigh’s usual seat in desperate frustration.
I was really going to die here.Raleigh was already severing my ties with the outside world.Father and Yann would never really know what had happened to me.I would remain here, stuck in this eternal loop of dust and blood and tedious books about vampires.I would never see my mother’s face again.Only Raleigh’s.Moira’s, for a time, but at least she could look forward to oblivion.
All I had was eternity.Eternity withhim.
I rolled the ash and wax between my fingers until it turned a murky burgundy.How had it survived the flames?Wax and fire didn’t exactly pair well.The seal must have slipped through the grate before it could catch alight, but still it held up remarkably well.
‘Did you want me to find this?’I asked the empty room.
There was no reply, as usual.But when I looked back, the hearth was empty.
That night I was up late, determined not to stop working until my candle had burnt to a stump.Tonight’s book was more fanciful thanuseful, but the author had a fascinating tale about an aristocratic coven in the Bavarian mountains that had me enthralled.They spoke of a queen so lovely that even the purest of maidens would fall to her charm.Lucky maidens, I thought.If I’d been afforded the luxury to choose which vampire aristocrat to be abducted by, I would have much preferred the seductress queen on the other side of the mountains.
I heard Raleigh enter then, but he didn’t notice I was still there until I turned the page.He froze mid-step.I refused to acknowledge him, hoping he’d take the hint and leave, but there was only so long I could endure his stare.
I willed my eyes to keep moving down the page.‘What do you want?’
Raleigh shifted ever so slightly towards the door.‘That damned hallway.I thought this was the way to my tower.’
I glared at him.We both knew whatever curse he’d laid on the halls had no effect on him.I had no wish to spend time with him either, of course, but I wished he’d have the decency to at least be subtle about his plans to isolate me.So I surprised myself when I said, ‘You don’t have to leave on my account.’
‘I just came for a book.’He passed by me, stopping at a shelf not far from my desk, too close not to be a distraction.I tried to find my place on the page again and made it through barely a paragraph when Raleigh said, ‘Do you have any recommendations?’
I swivelled in my chair to stare at him.‘What?’
‘Have you read either of these?’Raleigh asked, holding up two options:Gulliver’s TravelsandSomnium.
‘Those are novels.’I’d read both, but that was beside the point.
‘Yes.’
I stared at him.‘Have you forgotten about the mountain of unread vampire academia?’
Raleigh studied me as though he had only just noticed I was upset.‘But that’s what you’re here for.’
I slammed my hands down on the table.‘Can you at least pretend you want to be cured?’I cried.‘Because if the rest of the year is going to be like this, I would rather you kill me now and be done with it.’
Raleigh stared at me.‘Where is this coming from?’
A high-pitched laugh ruptured my lips.I’d always hated that laugh.It only ever surfaced when I was arguing with Yann or Father, and I always knew I’d lost the fight from the moment it crossed my lips.I waited for Raleigh to tell me I was being hysterical, as I had been told so many times before.Instead he put the books down, found a chair and waited for me to speak, rolling the lace trim of one sleeve between two fingers.
As I watched him, my rage melted into confusion, then irritation.‘You can’t keep me cut off from the world like this,’ I said.‘I’ll go mad.’
Raleigh furrowed his brows.‘What are you talking about?’
‘Where are my letters?’
He paused.I tried to find any trace in his expression that he knew what I’d discovered, but he was a master at keeping his face blank when he wanted to.‘What letters?’
So he was going to play oblivious.‘From home.’
