I should have protested harder; she needed to rest more than I did.We might have had matching wounds, but I was suffering none of the effects that plagued Moira.Secretly, I was glad she was well enough to turn down a sleeping shift.
By the time we started moving again I was wedged on the seat beside Raleigh’s casket, blinking rapidly to adjust to the dark.If he was awake he didn’t show it.The lid of his coffin remainedstubbornly closed, though the carriage was so dark it would have been perfectly safe to come out.After a time I lowered myself to the ground and lay down beside him, curling up against the solid wood.
‘What are you doing?’Raleigh’s voice was muffled from within.
I took a page out of his book and ignored him until he rose from the coffin to glare down at me.‘I can’t sleep when you’re brushing against the chest like that.’
‘Don’t sleep, then,’ I said, echoing Moira.I sat up.‘I want to talk to you.’
‘Can’t it wait?’
‘I don’t want to die with you angry at me.’
He reeled back, stunned.‘I’m not angry at you.’
I raised my brows.‘Aren’t you?’
He opened his mouth.Closed it.He sighed.‘I don’t understand why you’re so determined to die for me.’
This was why he was avoiding me?I wanted to laugh in relief.
‘Do you really not realise?’
‘Realise what?’he asked.‘You stole from the Queen, Clara.You must have known she’d kill you for that when she found out.’
Of course I did, but it hadn’t mattered in the moment.Now it mattered even less.‘She wanted me dead anyway.At least this way she can’t control you.’
‘What makes you think my freedom could possibly be worth more than your life?’The trace of loathing in his voice wasn’t aimed at me, and it made my heart ache to know he held such hatred for one I held so dear.
‘I told you at court.’I rolled onto my knees and steadied myself against the rim of the coffin.
He didn’t move, peering down at me through his lashes, his lips gently parted.‘What did you tell me?’
‘I meant it.’I took a breath.‘I never lied to the Queen.’
I leant forward, and when Raleigh didn’t pull away I closed the rest of the distance between us.A muffled noise escaped his throat as our lips met.He cupped my chin, drawing me closer, until a sudden jolt in the carriage broke us apart.Even then his hands remained, thumbs tracing my cheekbones, staring as though he was trying to burn the scene into his retinas to hold for eternity.
‘Do you really mean that?’
‘The Queen pulled the flimsiest excuse out of thin air to make sure you couldn’t uphold your deal with her.Do you really think she would have bothered if she thought I was lying?’
He screwed his eyes shut, then pressed our foreheads together.‘I meant what I said too.More than anything.’
My heart clenched.‘You meant what you saidwhen?’
He pulled back, confusion marring his features.‘At court,’ he said.‘What are you thinking of?’
I rolled away from him, pressing my palms to my eyes.‘I don’t understand you at all.’
He laid one hand on my shoulder.‘I need you to understand, my rejection of your advances has had nothing to do with my feelings for you.’
‘I don’t mean that,’ I said.I understood that much.I certainly couldn’t fault him for rebuffing my advances knowing what he’d been through at court.‘But you said yourself that even when we are alone this is all an act.’
‘Clara—’ He faltered.‘I’ve been in love with you formonths.’
I forgot how to move.‘What?’I didn’t know how to process this surge of emotion.‘When?’
‘When you chose to come back with me in Orlfen,’ Raleigh said.‘Or at least, that’s when I realised.When we first met I was so taken with the lengths you went to protect your baker, I would have given anything for someone to feel the same way about me.Then I wantedit to be you who felt that about me.’He splayed his hands.‘And then it actually happened.’
