This was really happening.
Rafael was choosing me. He wanted a life with me. I wasn’t dreaming anymore, and the realization was so staggering that I couldn’t speak—a first for me, surely.
“If you’re worried about your brothers, well”—he lifted a shoulder—“I’m more than aware of the realities of what you do. I’ll never betray their confidence, nor will I judge them for their choices. Or yours. That’s not my place.”
“But you know what we’ve done.”
He nodded slowly. “I do.”
Rafael had heard their confessions for years, even when I’d abstained. He knew the lines we crossed, the ways we justified it. We’d taken lives. Every one of them I could count, and every one of them had deserved it, but they were still lives. It was still a line crossed one too many times.
It was the one piece of the puzzle I wasn’t sure fit, but if I had to choose, I would. My brothers meant everything to me, but Rafael was my world. It wasn’t even close.
“Is this something you…” I didn’t know how to phrase what I wanted to say.Wanted me to stop?Have a problem with?
Luckily, he knew where I was going with it, and he brushed his thumb against mine, a soothing motion, before he said, “I know what your brothers are capable of. I know whatyou’recapable of.”
“We don’t hurt people for the fun of it.”
“I know.”
“We protect. Dismantle corrupt systems. Fucked-up organizations. We intervene where we have to.”
“I know.”
“And sometimes”—I took in a deep breath, even though he already knew—“that means we get our hands dirty.”
Rafael nodded, still listening without judgment.
“I don’t expect you to condone everything, but I need you to understand something.”
“What’s that?”
“If someone comes for you, or my family?” My jaw clenched tight. “I won’t pray about it first.”
His eyes softened, and after a long moment, he nodded again. “You know I believe in mercy. I also believe in consequences. And I believe—Iknow—that you are not cruel. I don’t want to change who you are, Alessio. And I don’t want you to hide it from me either.”
It felt like I could breathe again. His easy acceptance, even though our lives were so different, was all I’d ever wanted, and I didn’t know how, after everything, I deserved it.
But I would take it. With greedy fucking hands, and I’d never let go.
I held his gaze as I leaned in slowly and grazed my lips over his. “You do realize this means you’re tied to us now.”
“I’ve been tied to you since before puberty. I think I can handle it.”
“I dunno. You’re stepping into a complicated life.”
“So are you.”
Shit, he was right. This wasn’t just his choosing me—it was our choosing each other and all that came with it. I hadn’t even stopped to ask him what that meant for him.
“So you just…left? What will you do n?—”
His mouth crashing down on mine cut off my words, his fingers threading through my hair to rest at the nape of my neck. Angling his head to deepen the kiss, and making me forget any and every thought I had.
“Later,” he murmured as he kissed the corner of my mouth and nipped at my lower lip. “We’ll figure it out. But not tonight.”
“Not tonight,” I repeated, fingering the edge of his turtleneck before pulling away to stand up.
