At least, I thought I did.
“Father?”
Lucien’s voice cut through my thoughts. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“I just asked if you were okay.”
I forced a smile to my lips and nodded. “Of course. I was just thinking how lovely it will be to be a part of your special day. I’m honestly so thrilled you and Kai trust me with such an important moment in your lives.”
“There was no one else even on the list of possibilities. You’re practically part of the family.”
“I’m not sure Alessio would agree with that.” It was out of my mouth before I could take it back, and if I thought Lucien would just let it go, I was in for bitter disappointment.
“Alessio loves you.”
He said the words as though it was a known fact, and the way it made my heart race and stomach flip had my shame from last night returning full force.
He means as a friend, a priest,not anything else.
“There’s no one he trusts more with himself or us. Trust me, he thinks of you as family.”
I swallowed, reminding myself I had no right to feel the ache now radiating through my chest. But there was no stopping it. Not when Alessio’s words from his last confession kept playing on a loop in my head.
Not the scandalous ones, the ones designed to shock, but the painful, heart-wrenching ones. The ones where he’d accused me of deciding God was a better option than him.
Was that really what he believed? That didn’t sit right with me, not in any way. Choosing this life, this path, had been one of the most difficult and painful decisions I’d ever made. But I’d been so caught off guard by last night’s confrontation that I hadn’t had a chance to process everything that had been said.
Or at least the parts that came after the desperate release I’d chased down back in the rectory.
I was so weak.
“Does he—” I cleared my throat, suddenly hating the lump caught in the back of it. “Does Alessio live here in the city?”
Lucien cocked his head toward me, a slight frown marring his brow as though my question were an odd one. Then he took the steps down into the garden and I thought that maybe I’d asked too much.
Maybe that was private Kings business.
“He’s closer than you think,” he said, before glancing over his shoulder at me and gesturing for me to follow.
“What do you mean?” I asked as I headed down the stairs and stopped beside him.
“Look outside your window tonight?—”
“My window?”
“Your rectory window. You’ll see him.”
I thought about that for a moment, and just as I was about to ask another question, Lucien called out for Kai.
“You ready?” he said, and Kai came back over to take Lucien’s hand.
“Yep. I just wanted to enjoy the sun a little.”
“How about I take you to Central Park and we can enjoy it a whole lot more?”
“Really? I thought you had to work.”
“Work can wait. You want some sunshine, who am I to deny you?”
