“It’s complicated. She, well, I met her when I started seeing Mara.”
“What does that mean? You dated both of them?”
“No. Clancy isn’t like that. She’s a good girl.”
“That doesn’t sound like your type, Savage.”
I scrub my face with my hand. It’s hard to lie to C. He’s right. I don’t go for the good girls. Clancy is the one person in my life that I’m close to—besides my brothers. It’s not a sexual attraction or relationship, but I can’t tell him that. He’s going to flip his shit though when I explain who Clancy is—something I’m not going to do just yet.
“She was there for me during the darkest part of my life,” I admit. “She’s special. I’m just asking you to be nice to her. She’s a little nervous about being here tonight.”
“Can’t wait to meet her, man. I mean that.”
I nod. “Got shit to do,” I mutter before walking off.
As I head outside for fresh air, I do my best to push thoughts of Mara and her long chestnut hair and sparkling green eyes from my mind. She’s my past. I loved her with everything I had, but she didn’t choose me and that’s all there is to it. There’s nothing else I can do, and I’ve come to terms with that. I’m not about to let her know that what we had still bothers me. That’s why Clancy is the perfect choice. Clancy hates Mara. The hate is so strong that it has caused issues in our friendship before. Still, our connection is so strong that nothing can shake it. I know I’m a dick for using Clancy. I should probably use one of the club girls, but I know that me having a relationship with Clancy will hurt Mara worse than anyone else. I want her to feel that pain. Yeah, I’m a bastard, but seeing Mara’s face when she truly believes that I’m claiming her little sister as my old lady is the only thing helping me get through this shit.
Once all this is done, I’ll make sure Clancy is okay, though. There is definitely no love lost between her and Mara. Plus, Mara can be a vindictive bitch. I’ll make sure she can’t touch Clancy. I may not truly be taking her as my old lady, but she will always have my protection.
Always.
20
BLOOD AND DESTRUCTION
IZZY
I pull up outside the Kings of Anarchy clubhouse. I can’t lie. I’m a nervous wreck. It’s Friday night and Caleb isn’t expecting me until Saturday. The entire trip here, I kept second-guessing whether I should have told Caleb that I was coming in earlier. I just wanted to surprise him, so I decided not to. I’m just praying that’s not a mistake. I know he had a meeting about an alliance tonight. Still, if nothing else, I can hang around in his room at the club until he’s free. I take a shaky breath and let it try to steady me. It doesn’t really work.
Tonight is the night that I’m going to tell Caleb that I love him. From there, I’m also going to confess that my hospital evaluation wasn’t just good. Nope, it was great. It was so much better than I expected that I felt comfortable letting Blake know I’m thinking of transferring to St. Lutheran Hospital in Tennessee. I was hoping he’d help me with the paperwork and a personal recommendation. My gamble paid off. When Blake heard the hospital name and knew he couldn’t talk me into staying at UK, he called the head of trauma surgery at St. Lutheran, who apparently, he was friends with through his own residency at Vanderbilt Hospital.
It was all such a coincidence that I kind of feel like it’s fate—as if Caleb and I are meant to be. To make it even better, there is actually a residency placement available. Blake said a couple of residents had to resign because of a personal scandal. He didn’t actually explain what happened, but there were enough hints to make me understand the residents were having sex in a patient’s room while the patient was downstairs for a CT scan. The bad news was that the patient came back earlier. The worse news was that the patient in question was the hospital director’s wife. Purely on Blake’s verbal recommendation, the woman offered me the residency. She was even nice enough to put the job on hold to give me time to talk it over with my family.
I’m excited to tell Caleb all about it. I’m pretty sure he’ll be happy, but I think this is the first time I’ve ever willingly put myself out there for a man. That’s probably why I’m so damned nervous. I get out of my car and lock it up quickly, pushing the fob into my pocket. I look around again. This place is definitely packed. There’s probably a huge party inside. I frown, rubbing my forehead. I contemplate leaving and getting a hotel tonight. I can call Caleb to come to me.
Instantly, I’m pissed at myself. My parents and BB would be disgusted with me. I’m not someone who’s afraid. I face life—I do not run from it. With that thought, I pull my phone from my pocket and call Caleb. It rings twice when he picks up.
“Yo,” he says, sounding irritated.
Before I can speak to find out what’s wrong. I hear a woman’s voice that is entirely too close to him. “Come on, Candyman. Hang up. I’m dying to have you inside me again. I’m too worked up to wait.”
My stomach drops. Hell, it feels like I’ve been stabbed with a serrated blade that’s been heated in a forge. I imagine dying couldn’t be any less painful. A sob escapes me before I can stop it.
“Isolde?” he asks, sounding panicked. “Shit, I didn’t read the Caller ID.”
I laugh, the sound bitter to my own ears. “I bet.”
“Baby, don’t hang up. It’s not?—”
I end the call before I can hear more lies. Then, I look at my phone, checking to see where Caleb’s—the cheating bastard—location is. It’s not a big surprise when I realize he’s right here at the clubhouse. My worry and nervousness are gone. Now, I’m just a woman seeing the man she loves fucking around on her. I’m going to systematically cut him out of my life. Part of me wonders if I should leave now, but I know I need to see it firsthand. I guess I’m a masochist.
I walk over to the club entrance. There are two guys at the door. One is wearing a cut that has a prospect badge. Luckily, I know the second one. Savage has been to Beau’s body shop before.
Seeing Savage upsets me. If I was going to fall in love with a biker, why couldn’t I fall in love with him? Caleb had told me that Savage fell in love with a woman who chose someone else over him and has lived like a monk since. The bastard had told me the whole story, disgusted with Savage for pining over a woman who chose a club president over him, just for the supposed prestige. I found it touching that Savage cared about this woman so much that he didn’t immediately try to find someone else to warm his bed. Now I understand the real reason why Caleb didn’t agree. He was disappointed that Savage wouldn’t fuck anyone that offered—like he does.
The asshole.
“Hey Savage, can you take me to Caleb?” I ask as I approach him. The lighting here sucks, so I don’t know if he can see the pain on my face or hear in my voice that something is wrong. If it’s my face, he sees my damn tears that I can’t really stop. So fucking embarrassing.
