I semi-watch Caleb as Monique moves closer to him. There’s a jealousy I don’t understand pooling in the pit of my stomach. I beat it down. His eyes lock with mine. I admit it surprises me. There’s not a man I know who wouldn’t look at the gentle sway of Monique’s breasts. Hell, I am a woman who only has an interest in muscular men with dicks—the bigger the better—and I can’t resist looking at them when I’m around her.
When he finally looks down at Monique, I turn away. I don’t need to see him drooling over her tits. Knowing I’m safe from him, I motion to Pez that I’m heading out. He frowns, but slightly lifts his chin in acknowledgement. He knows what I have planned. He agreed to help me. Of course, he doesn’t realize I’m attracted to Caleb. He thinks Caleb is just being a creep. It’s probably not fair to Pez, because I know he likes me. I like him, too, but there’s an anger inside of Pez and a darkness I couldn’t deal with. Maybe someday he’ll learn to control it or have someone at his side who will keep it from eating him alive, but I know I’m not that woman. If I were, I wouldn’t keep getting distracted by the Kings of Anarchy’s resident man-whore.
I move as if I’m going to the restroom. If there’s a slim chance that Caleb is watching me, I’m not about to alert him to my plans. Once I get to the hall that leads to the restroom, I take the door across from it. It’s my brother’s office. It’s small, and he rarely uses it, but I know it’s there. It also has a door that opens behind the clubhouse. I happen to have a key to the deadbolt. I can let myself out, lock the door back, and slip away without anyone knowing. I smile once I get to the safety of BB’s office and close the door. Instantly the music and noise lessen, and I take my first steady breath that I’ve had since getting here. Pez brought me here tonight, but I have his key that he gave me to his truck. He promised he’d have one of the prospects drop him off at the house in the morning to collect it. Pez wasn’t happy about it. He felt it was his job to drive me home, but I wanted him around to intercept Caleb if he tried to follow me. Plus, I really just wanted to be alone.
For the first time tonight, I feel like I can breathe. I inhale deeply, taking in the spring night air and the scent of rain somewhere on the horizon. I lean against the building, close my eyes and calm my nerves, which have stretched thin tonight. I don’t know what it is about Caleb that calls to me, but it doesn’t change the fact that he does. I have to fight myself not to give into the promise in his eyes. I want to kiss him. I want him in my life. I want to be a part of his.
The problem is, I can’t truly let myself go and do any of that. I have my life planned out and I have goals to achieve. I also want a forever kind of relationship. I want the love I’ve seen between my parents and what I think BB is building with Beau. I want something deep and lasting—just like Gabby and King have. I’ve known Gabby all my life. I saw how she chased after Dom, twisted her own self-worth, and tried to find validation in the wrong things because Dom never gave it back. She changed into someone who—quite frankly—wasn’t any fun to be around. She was once the girl that I was best friends with, my favorite cousin, and the one I told all my secrets to. That changed after she began a relationship with Dom, which became more one-sided than not. Now that she’s back and she and King are married with little Etta in the mix, I have my bestie back. I have the girl I always thought of as my sister. I think it might be good to talk to her about all of this …
With my decision made, I can almost smile. I’ll head over to Gabby’s. I can talk to her and maybe get baby loves from little Emma. I start to walk away, but squeal when a hand clamps over my arm.
“It’s just me, Izzy,” Caleb says, looking at me as if that should calm me—when it does the exact opposite.
“What the hell are you doing?” I hiss, my heart still jumping out of my damn chest. I don’t know why I’m reacting like this. I’ve always been safe here at the club, but I can’t help it. I have a sneaking suspicion that part of the reason is because he’s touching me, and I like it …
“Checking on you,” he says easily.
He doesn’t really remove his hand. His hold loosens, but his thumb swipes back and forth against my skin. I like the way it feels so much that I have to fight to keep from closing my eyes and enjoying it.
“As you can see, I’m fine,” I answer, forcing myself to pull my arm away. I instantly miss his touch, but I ignore the ache I feel at the loss.
What the hell is wrong with me?
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“I don’t think we have anything to say to one another, Candy-boy,” I reply, with the bitchiest attitude I can muster.
He grins at me, which wasn’t what I was aiming for. I figured if I got him mad, he’d let me escape. Caleb makes me nervous when he grins. “I’m sorry, Izzy.”
“I don’t care … wait! What did you just say?”
“I said, I’m sorry.”
“You are?” I ask, my voice sounding incredulous even to my own ears.
“I am. I was an asshole,” he mutters, and it’s probably a trick of the weak outdoor light hanging over the back door, but Caleb looks like his cheeks are flushed with color.
There’s no way he’s blushing.
“Was?” I ask, eyebrow raised in disbelief and sounding as snarky as a snark can snark. I also have to fight my smile when I see the look on his face. This would be easier if I wasn’t attracted to the asshole.
“Fine. I am an asshole,” he grumbles, making me laugh.
“Apology accepted. You'd better get back in there. Pez told me you guys were going to head into a meeting.”
“Griff went. I find myself completely free and alone.”
I ignore the flutter in my heart. “I’m sure you’ll find something to do with your time,” I respond, trying to laugh it off. “I had better get. I promised Mom I’d spend time with her tonight before I head back to Lexington tomorrow,” I explain, making up shit as I go along—mostly desperate to just get away. I don’t know why I’m so attracted to Caleb. It doesn’t make sense really. I’ve always stayed away from his type without a problem. Hell, it’s never been a problem to walk away from any man. I need to resist whatever this pull is toward Caleb. I have a feeling that he could destroy me if I don’t.
“Lexington?”
“I’m still in med school at UK. I’ll be graduating soon,” I reply, proud of my accomplishments and career goals.
“So, that means it won’t be long before you’re moving back to Tennessee,” he assumes.
“I’m actually going to continue in Lexington. UK hospital is a great teaching facility. I plan to be a trauma surgeon, so there’s a lot more I need to accomplish to reach my goals.”
“I see,” he responds quietly.
