Those memories drain all the pity I had for him a moment ago.
7
PERRY
The room iswarm and small and far too organized for all the chaos that just happened in it. Two bassinets sit beside my bed, identical, unreal. My sons. The word still feels theoretical, like I’m borrowing it from someone else’s life.
Sons.Mysons.
There’s a soft knock at the door before I can spiral too far into that thought. “Come in.”
Olivia bursts through like she’s been holding herself together in the hallway and finally gets to fall apart. Her dark hair is thrown into a messy bun, mascara slightly smudged, eyes already shiny. She drops her purse on the chair and heads straight to the bassinets, hands hovering like she’s afraid to touch something sacred. “They’re tiny.”
“They were bigger coming out, I promise you,” I mutter.
She snorts and looks at me then—really looks at me. “How are you?”
I open my mouth. Nothing comes out.
She arches a brow. “That bad?”
“I don’t know,” I say honestly. “I feel like I just got hit by a truck and handed a lifetime subscription to responsibility.”
She laughs softly and then immediately wipes her eyes. “That tracks.” She sighs, looking at the boys. “This is messy as fuck, Perry.”
“Yeah. It is.” We let that sit between us for a second because messy doesn’t even begin to cover it. “I just gave birth,” I continue, staring at the ceiling now, “to my ex-boyfriend’s father’s twins. Who happened to be the doctor on call when I got here.”
Her mouth drops open. “He delivered the boys?”
I nod once. The effort wipes me out.
“And he doesn’t know…anything about this?”
“No.”
She presses her lips together, nodding slowly, like she’s trying to sort the insanity into manageable piles. “Perry,” she says gently. “That’s…deeply fucked up.”
I snort a laugh. “I know.”
“And you’re okay?”
“Okayis a distant mark on the horizon at the moment, Liv.”
Her gaze sharpens. “Emotionally?”
I hesitate. “When I was in labor,” I admit, my voice lower now, “I wanted to tell him.”
Olivia freezes. “Tell him what?”
“Everything.” About Jason. About the party. About the twins. About the fact that he already knows me in a way he doesn’t realize. “I was in so much pain. And he looked at me like I was just…a patient. Like I was anyone. And for a second, I wanted to ruin that. I wanted him to know.”
Olivia sits down slowly. “Is that such a bad idea?”
I shake my head hard. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because this”—I gesture weakly to the bassinets—“is mine. Ours. This is a secret you and I are taking to the grave.”
