Grinning, I lean back and let out a long, slow breath.
This isperfect.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“Welcome, baby girl.”
Kian’s arms tighten around me as he nuzzles my neck, his beard tickling my skin. God, I love his beard. If he ever gets rid of it, I’ll be pissed.
“Yourfirst rule is you can never shave your beard,” I blurt out with amusement.
He goes still, then chuckles. “That’s a rule for me, huh?”
Nodding, I lift my hand and run my fingers through the neatly trimmed hair on his jaw. “Yeah. Definitely a rule.”
“Whatever you say, angel.”
Heat blooms within me, spreading everywhere. It’s not only between my legs this time, it’s spreading in my chest, right to my heart.
“Tell me about your parents. Your life. The accident. I want to know everything.” His words are quiet but firm. I know I’m not going to get out of this conversation, as much as I want to.
Letting out a sigh, I let the sweetly scented water soothe my aches while I relax against him. “Where do you want me to start?”
Kian uses one hand to gently massage my neck while keeping the other wrapped around me. “Start from the beginning. We have all night.”
I close my eyes and picture my dad’s face, smiling at me. “I’m an only child. Things were pretty normal before my dad died. Well, as much as they could be, considering he was in the mafia. He was gone a lot. My parents always fought about how much he worked. I missed him whenever he wasn’t home, but he never ever missed my ballet performances. I was eight when he died.
“After that, my mom raised me. She put me through private school, and when I wasn’t in school, she expected me to practice ballet. It was my passion, so I didn’t really mind, but she pushed me harder and harder the older I got. The better I got, the more social circles that opened up to her. She played the loving mother in public, but in private, she was a bitch. She nitpicked everything I did. I was never a good enough student, I wasn’t blond enough, I didn’t act elegant enough, I wasn’t skinny enough. I swear, she hated me. Then again, I think she just hated everything. She was fake as fuck and sometimes, I got the feeling she was happy my dad was dead.”
Kian’s hand goes still for a moment, but he starts massaging again when I go on.
“I got into the most elite ballet academy on the West Coast, but it wasn’t good enough for her because it wasn’t the ballet school in New York. She controlledeverything. My trust didn’t become available to me until I turned twenty-five, so I was dependent on her for money. She used that to control me.” My voice cracks, and I have to stop and swallow.
“I was so stupid. Luciano tried to tell me. He tried to help me and offered to give me a lump sum of his own money so I could get away from her, but I was brainwashed or something.” I shake my head at myself, still disgusted that I didn’t do anything about it.
Kian slides his hand up the center of my chest until he reaches my chin. With it cupped between his fingers, he turns my head, so I’m looking up at him.
“I’m pretty sure we’ve already talked about you putting yourself down, but in case you need a reminder, this is your last one, angel. You are not allowed to talk badly about yourself or say mean things about yourself. It’s a rule, and one I take very seriously. One that will result in you over my knee for a spanking that won’t end in orgasms. Do you understand?”
His gaze burns into me, and I swallow again because I let out a sharp breath. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Good. Where’s your cunt of a mother now?” he asks quietly.
I shrug. “I assume still in Seattle. The accident changed me in a lot of ways. I survived something I shouldn’t have. The doctors who worked on me in the trauma center said it was a miracle I made it through. It woke something up in me. I realized I wasn’t living my life the wayIwanted. I only get one chance at life. My entire ballet career ended that night, and my mother acted like it was my fault.
“She didn’t come see me in the rehab facility one single time. Luciano came every day. Sometimes, twice a day. And when I told him I wanted to leave Seattle once I healed, he tried to do whatever he could to get me to stay. But when he realized I had my mind made up, he supported me in his protective, controlling way ever since.”
“I had to wait until my twenty-fifth birthday before I could leave because she controlled every dime I had. When I confirmed my trust had been released, I got a job here and moved the next week. I didn’t bother to tell her when I left. She’s called me twice since I’ve been here, but I haven’t answered either time.”
Kian’s hold on me tightens, and I notice he does that whenever he’s pissed. He pulls me into him, like he’s trying to protect me.
“You’re better off without her,” he says darkly.
Tears burn my eyes as the room becomes blurry. “I know. I just wish I’d figured it out sooner. It’s been hard to process everything that’s happened this past year. That I let her control me like that without realizing it. Ballet had been my passion at one point, and she used it against me until I was so burned out that my hair was falling out, and I was starving and exhausted. She knew it, andstillshe pushed me to do more.” My voice rises the more I talk about her, and finally, a sob breaks free as tears cascade down my warm cheeks.
“You know now, and you’ve done something about it. She’s an evil bitch who’ll get what’s coming to her.”
Closing my eyes, I try to let myself relax again. It’s hard not to get worked up when I think about my mother. She took so much from me. The last thing I want to do is give her any more of my time. My therapist said that in our last session, and I’ve been trying to remember since. It’s helped me not dwell on it so much.
