Right now, she dismissed the lust in Neil’s eyes as he stared way too long for it not to be obvious that he still wanted her. Like he had any chance after betraying her.
She’d wasted all her efforts being a good girlfriend, loving him with her whole heart, only to be deceived by someone who swore they loved her back all while sleeping with someone she thought was her best friend.
It really hit her. The people closest to her always seemed to break her heart.
She felt Hawk’s presence at her back, hidden by the stacks, where he kept out of Neil’s sight. A sentry guarding her. Calm. Steady. But ready to help if Neil stepped out of line.
His devotion solidified the absolute faith she had in him that he truly loved her. He’d never hurt her. He’d never betray her. Instead, he took every opportunity to beg her to stay with him and showed her how much he meant it in his every word and deed.
She especially loved the dirty deeds she’d woken up to this morning. The things he’d do to her tonight when they got home.
It was almost like she could feel the love coming off him from his hiding spot.
She wanted to turn to him, go to him, let him wrap her in his arms and hold her and the world at bay. But she had to do this, to know that she was strong enough to put the past behind her and end this once and for all.
Neil snapped out of the trance he’d fallen into and walked the last few steps to her. She didn’t stand to greet him. She didn’t offer a smile. She simply said, “Sit,” waving to the open seat beside her.
He sat too close.
She slid a good foot down the couch, keeping him in front of her.
“I repel you that much?” His voice had gotten deeper. His face had more lines. A scar slashed across his cheek to his temple. He’d filled out with more muscle, though he was still lean. The look in his eyes was one of want. “Man, I’ve missed you so damn much. I think about you every day.”
Everything inside her buzzed with anxiety. “Then why did you help Desiree try to kill me?”
His eyes narrowed and his lips pressed into a deep frown. “Is that what she told you? Fucking bitch.” He scrubbed both hands over his face. “That’s not what happened.”
“I remember seeing you at the bar. I was out of it, but I remember you coming in the back door and asking if you would get to seehernow.”
“I wasn’t talking about you. I thought you were drunk off your ass.”
“When have you ever seen me drunk like that?”
He leaned in. “I don’t know you anymore. After all you’ve been through, I wouldn’t blame you for checking out whenever the fuck you want. So, yeah, when I saw you, I just thought you’d had too much to drink and Desiree had, too. She called me that nightand said she needed a ride home. I wanted to see…” He caught himself before revealing too much.
She already knew what he was going to say. “Krystal. Your daughter. Yeah. I know you were fucking Desiree behind my back and you got her pregnant.”
He raked his fingers through the side of his hair. “I came here hoping we could put the past behind us and…I don’t know…find a way to be friends again.”
“After you dumped me naked down a ravine and left me for dead, asshole!”
He leaned in close. “I did not do that. She did. All I did was drive your car back to your place. I thought she took you inside and put you to bed, even though I was the one who wanted to take care of you that night and hopefully get a chance to apologize in the morning.”
“Apologize! You killed my parents and Danny.” She knew he hadn’t but wanted to see what he said about it.
“I was never convicted of that.” His gaze dropped to the floor.
“That’s all you have to say after you sent me letters for months and tried to call me dozens of times from prison?”
His gaze met hers. “There are things you don’t know.”
“I know Krystal is yours. I know that you’re a fucking liar and a cheat and you betrayed me again and again. How many times did you fuck her, then come to me acting like you loved me, like nothing happened?”
“It wasn’t like that. I wasn’t her willing partner. She fucking figured out I was stealing the drugs from the vet office where I worked and selling them. She threatened to turn me into her dad if I didn’t cut her in on the business. So I paid her. Then, that wasn’t enough. She hated how happy you and I were together. She wanted me and I told her no. I loved you. But she wouldn’t fucking stop with the threats to turn me in or to tell you what I was doing. I didn’t want you to know.”
“Why? Why were you selling drugs? That didn’t seem like something you’d do. At least that’s what I thought at the time.”
“I was doing it for us! It was quick cash. And a lot of it. I was saving up to take you away, to keep you safe.”
