“Maybe she’s sick.”
“She’d have texted me and rescheduled.” His gut felt like a knot he’d never unravel.
Lincoln grinned. “You really like her and you’re pissed that I tried to hire her, too. Admit it. You’re jealous.”
“I’m pissed that you did something to make her not want to work for me anymore.”
She’d never missed cleaning his place, except once when she broke a tooth on a piece of almond brittle and texted that she’d reschedule to do his place on Thursday instead of Monday, like usual. She was responsible and kind. She wouldn’t just leave him hanging.
Lincoln put his hand on Hawk’s shoulder. “First, I didn’t do anything. Second…do you two have something going that I don’t know about?”
Hawk tried to hold on to his patience, even as he shook off his brother’s hand. “It’s none of your damn business. I knew I shouldn’t have told you about her leaving me food and stuff.”
Lincoln’s grin grew. “Hold up. ‘And stuff?’ All you shared was that she sometimes makes you something to eat. What else does she do?”
Make my whole fucking world a little better with her notes and books and reminders to eat and try the meditations for sleep in the book she left me.
“Nothing. Forget about it.”
“No. Not happening. You’ve been a brooding asshole who’s pushed everyone away for way too long. We get it. You needed space when you left the military to find your way out of the trauma of what happened, but we’re way past that and you’re still so closed off and…”
“What? Let me guess. Moody.”
“You’re being a straight up asshole right now. I talked to your girl for like five minutes. That’s all. I know you have a thing forher, even if you don’t want to admit it. You know how I know that? Because she’s the only person you talk about outside of your coworkers and us.”
“It’s not like that.”You want it to be like that.
“You want it to be,” his brother echoed the voice in his head. “You just don’t want to admit it. Or give in to it, because you think you’re broken or whatever else you tell yourself that keeps you from asking out that smokin’ hot, nice, kind, real woman. And when I mean real, I mean someone who is exactly what she seems.”
Hawk took a chance and admitted. “While we have this kind of running conversation going, I haven’t actually seen her in person in two years.” He’d been working on getting better, getting his head straight after two tours of duty overseas left him with flashbacks and nightmares to go along with several surgeries after he’d crashed his chopper. Not to mention the other times he’d been shot or wounded in the line of duty.
“Maybe you should change that. She seems really nice. You could use some of that.”
I have some of that. She leaves it behind every time she’s at my place.
Lincoln prodded some more. “Does Lyric know about her?”
Hawk shook his head. His cousin’s wife had taken it upon herself to be his best friend. At first, it was mostly one sided. But the woman wore him down a little at a time until they were exchanging phone calls a couple times a week and she and Mason visited him in Montana once a month. He went down to Wyoming a few times a month, usually when Mason or Nick needed his help on one of their FBI cases.
“If you need more encouragement, or a woman’s perspective, you know Lyric would tell you to go for it. She’s been trying to set you up every chance she gets, but you keep turning her down. Now I know why.”
“It’s not about Lucky. It’s about the baggage that comes with me.”
Lincoln hooked his arm around Hawk’s shoulders. “We all have baggage. If you expect her to carry some of yours, you might remember that she’ll expect the same. It’s called a relationship. And if you haven’t noticed, you’re already in one with her.”
Am I?
Yes.
Sort of.
And the thought of it made him…happy?
He hadn’t felt that way in longer than he could remember.
“I need to get out of here for a while. I’m going for a hike. I’ve been meaning to up my training anyway—now that the weather’s improving, search and rescue is going to be inundated with calls from hikers. Some of the places they get lost in are rough terrain. And my stamina isn’t what it used to be.”
Lincoln eyed him critically. “Not from what I’m seeing. You’re probably in better shape than when you left the military.”
