“Well, then, I’ll talk and hold you as long as you need.” She settled in between his legs and leaned into his chest. “You’re not the only one who woke up from a nightmare today. I’m sorry I wasn’t in bed with you. I’m sorry my breakfast gave you the flashback.”
He kissed her on the head. “Not your fault. I never know what will trigger me. I haven’t had a flashback in nearly a year.”
Her chin fell to her chest. “Oh God. Definitely no more smoothies.” She held him tighter.
He actually almost smiled at that and her kindness and acceptance. He brushed his hands over her arms where he’d grabbed her. “Are you really okay? Did I hurt you? Your shoulder? Your knee?”
She shook her head, her long hair catching on the stubble on his chin. He loved feeling the silky strands against his skin. “I was more surprised than anything.”
Everything had been going so well for the last five days. She was getting better. They were getting closer. She was even backto working in the office doing paperwork and billing, while the others still covered the houses she cleaned.
She no longer needed the brace on her arm. She had about three quarters of her range of motion back in her shoulder. She was due to get her stitches out tomorrow. And she'd swapped her knee brace for a compression sleeve, which gave her support and some range of motion.
Hopefully, she’d get a clean bill of health, too.
Not that he didn’t think she was well. She seemed to be happy living with him. They had breakfast and dinner together every day. Their sex life was off the charts. The second he woke up, he wanted her skin to skin. As soon as he came through the door each night, she was reaching for him. They were like horny teenagers and he loved it.
But it was more than just great sex. They talked about their days together. They spent time learning about what each of them liked and disliked. They cooked together. They sat out under the stars and talked about their pasts.
He felt closer to her than anyone he’d ever dated.
That feeling of falling all those months leading up to them finally being together…well, he finally had to admit to himself that he hadn’t been falling, he’d well and truly fallen the second he’d found her in the woods.
He loved her. More than anything.
And he couldn’t believe how he’d treated her this morning. Even if he’d not been in his right mind. There was no excuse. “Please don’t be afraid of me.”
She’d talked about her father with him. How he’d terrorized and traumatized her over the years. He didn’t want to be someone who frightened or hurt her.
“You’ve taken such good care of me. You’re never mean or scary. But honestly, this morning did frighten me. I didn’t know what was wrong with you. I understand you can’t control yourflashbacks and how you react, that you’re in soldier mode and that means in your mind it’s life or death and you need to protect yourself. I would never hold that against you. You’ve been through enough. But like you, I can’t help my reactions. They’re born of the trauma I suffered, too.”
“I’m not like him. I will prove that to you. I really haven’t had an episode in months.”
“I believe you, and I’ll be more cautious about loud noises like the blender.”
He squeezed her hand. “Please don’t leave me.”
“I’m exactly where I want to be. I will always be your safe place to fall.”
He leaned his head back against the cabinet and stared up at the ceiling. “You mean fall apart.”
Her hold on him tightened. “I fell apart on you. You showed me compassion and let me cry it out because that’s what I needed. I will give you what you need, whenever you need it.”
He wrapped her up close and buried his nose in her hair, smelling her sweet, sunshine scent. “I know. I’m sorry. I just don’t like you seeing me like this. Out of control. Out of my mind.”
“Hawk, it’s okay because I know the real you.” She went quiet and still. “And I…”
He held his breath waiting for her to finish that sentence.
“Love you. You’re the strongest person I know. Inside and out. I know you’ve worked really hard to overcome your past. It must be frustrating and disappointing to feel like it will never end. Maybe it will. Maybe it won’t. No matter what, I’ll be here to help you through it.”
He turned her in his arms and cupped her face in both hands. “You love me.”
She nodded despite it not being a question. “Very much. With my whole heart.” She bit her bottom lip and stared deep into hiseyes, probably hoping he said it back. Her parents were horrible to her. Her little brother depended on her. Did anyone ever tell her they loved her?
“I’ve been wanting to say it for so long. I love you, too. I don’t know how it happened, but it feels like it’s always been there now.”
“I was just waiting for you, too.”
