“No. Her father had apparently been very strict. She was used to being punished for stepping out of line. I think Marty lulled her into a false sense of security when he was dating her and his true colors only came out after they were married.”
“So in the course of taking care of her after her husband beat her, you took advantage of her because you were lonely for your pregnant wife who’d been away a few days?”
The sheriff’s eyes filled with anger. “It wasn’t like that.”
“It sounds exactly like that,” she snapped back.
Hawk put his hand on her shoulder. Just that simple touch to let her know he was there and she was all right.
“She called herself stupid for falling for his lies and getting caught up in their whirlwind affair and marrying him so quickly. I told her she was smart and funny and that it wasn’t her fault. She hugged me, thanking me for helping her and being so kind. She said she wished she’d met a man like me.” He stopped his pacing and stared at the wall like he was lost in the memories of her. Them. A soft smile tugged at his lips. “She kissed me. I didn’t respond at first. And then she said she just wanted to feel like she mattered again. I looked into her sad eyes and told her she did matter. That I would help her leave him. She threw her arms around me and kissed me again and I…I don’t know what happened after that but we found ourselves tangled up on the couch, her in my arms, her head on my chest, the two of us out of breath and holding each other in the quiet.” He got lost in his memories again.
“She suddenly scrambled up, fixed herself, then said she’d made a terrible mistake and had to go. She was sorry for disturbing me and dumping her problems on me. She was out the door in a flash before I even thought to say anything. And then reality crashed down on me. I’d cheated on my wife, a woman I loved more than anything. I couldn’t let her find out. I didn’t know if your mother would tell her. And for the next month, I didn’t see Joy. She avoided coming to our house when I was there. I barely caught glimpses of her at your place. I thought it was over, never to be spoken of again.”
“And then she was pregnant. How did you find out you were the father?”
“I didn’t know, didn’t even suspect when she and Gayle resumed their friendship like nothing was different weeks later. They bonded over the fact both of them were pregnant. I was eventually able to corner Joy and ask if the baby could be mine.She swore that she and Marty had been trying since they got married and more than likely it was his. I let it go. I had a pregnant wife and then a baby to take care of, so I focused on them and tried to put that night out of my mind. And then one day Joy brought over her six week old baby girl to show off to Gayle and to make friends with Desiree. I don’t know how Gayle knew, but she did. She took one look at the girls side by side and she looked up at me and I saw it in her eyes. Since she’d gotten home from her sister’s she’d looked at me differently. Like she knew something happened while she was gone. Not necessarily with Joy, but something. I didn’t think I’d changed in any way, but she’d sensed it, or I’d acted off and she noticed.”
“Did she confront you when she saw Desiree and I together that day?”
“No. She didn’t say a thing. She didn’t accuse me or Joy. She simply acted like it never happened.”
Lucky could understand. “Gayle had a newborn of her own. If she’d said anything, she’d jeopardize her marriage, her security, her ability to care for Desiree on her own.”
The sheriff agreed with a nod. “I figured she knew she had every advantage staying with me. And I made sure she knew that when we went to bed that night and I told her that she was the only woman I loved and I would spend the rest of my life proving it to her. She must have believed me enough to stay and I made sure every day that she knew how special and important she was to me.”
“And then you realized, or she did, that I was being abused.”
“Desiree brought it to our attention with an innocent statement. ‘Lucky seems to get hurt an awful lot.’ My blood ran cold and I locked eyes with Gayle, who’d seen bruises on your mother. We couldn’t pretend anymore that there wasn’t this not-so-secret secret between us. She told me I needed to do something. It couldn’t go on. Someone was going to get reallyhurt or die and it was on my head if it happened. But I was afraid of making things worse.”
“You were afraid that if the secret came out, you’d lose your wife. She’d be humiliated. My father would be furious and probably take some kind of revenge.”
“I was afraid he’d take it out on you and your mother. I didn’t want that on my conscience.”
“So you did nothing and let me suffer.”
“I was running for sheriff. The scandal would have cost me the job. I needed to support my family. I couldn’t help you if I was kicked off the force.”
“So you won the position and turned your back on me completely. Because you never lifted one finger to help.”
“I spoke to your father many times, warned him what would happen.”
“To no avail. He never stopped hurting me. Ever. You gave him a free pass.”
“No. I hated what was happening to you, but I had other problems to deal with, namely Desiree and her penchant for getting into trouble. She was out of control.”
“Yes. And you had no problem asking me to help you with that.”
“She listened to you.”
“Really? When? Because it seems like she was plotting shit behind our backs and getting away with murder.” She held up her hand. “Oh wait. I didn’t die. So I guess it must be okay.”
The sheriff gripped the bars and tried to shake them but they didn’t budge. “Damnit, Lucky, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen!”
“You didn’t do anything to stop it!” And nothing he said was going to change that. He couldn’t come up with a logical excuse for leaving her in the hands of a monster when he had the powerand authority to remove her from that house and her parents. “Do you know why my mother named me Lucky?”
He sighed. “Because when you were born and she looked into your eyes and saw pieces of me in your face and not his, she said the first thing that came to mind. Lucky.”
“As in, I was Lucky not to be his. But that wasn’t true, because I remained his from day one until Desiree freed me from them.”
