“I need you to get better. That’s all I think about. I just want you to be happy again. I know that probably feels like a lot of pressure. I know it will take time. And I see the steps you’re taking, like the walks you and your mom have taken the last few mornings together. You always look…relaxed when you come back.”
“We talk about her, you, life. The past. The future.”
“That’s good. And you can talk to me anytime you want. You know that, right?”
She nodded. “I am trying, Cody.” But it was hard to find her way out of the pit she’d fallen into after the attack. Cody was always there when she reached for the light. When she reached for him.
“I know you are, baby, I just miss the way things used to be. The way they were for that split second when you and I were happy together before it all went to shit.” He turned away from her. “I know you’ve changed because of everything that’s happened. So have I. But I still think we can get back that magic we had when our love shone the brightest.”
She pulled him back around to her. “I know you want that. I’m just…”
“Not ready. I know. And I’m trying to be patient and not push you for something you aren’t ready to give. I’m just…” He repeated her words. “Lonely without you.”
She cupped his face, drawn in by his sadness. “I’m here.”
He shook his head. “Right now…yes. But then I lose you when you sink into that place where I can’t reach you. And it makes me feel desperate.”
“And alone.”
“Yes. I’m sorry. I know you’re going through a lot. You deserve your time and space to cope and heal in your own way and time.”
“You’re hurting, too, and you need me, too.”
He held her face, the way she held his. “I always need you. Always. Forever, if you’ll have me.” His earnest and love-filled gaze held hers.
She couldn’t find the words to tell him she wanted that but she was afraid. That glimpse of sheer joy they’d shared had been taken away. She didn’t know if she could have him and lose him again.
And if they went there, he’d want to have children.
The thought of losing another child scared her. But she didn’t want fear to deprive her of feeling the way she felt when she was pregnant. Happy. Expectant. Joyful as she dreamed of her daughter’s life.
Her arms ached to hold her baby.
Maybe one day she would hold another baby.
And maybe then she’d get to see the wonder and happiness in Cody’s eyes as her body changed and their child came safely into this world and their arms.
It would be such a blessing.
Cody kissed her forehead, drawing her out of her daydreaming, then stepped back and took her hand. “Come. Let me show you upstairs.” He didn’t say anything about her not answering him. He just led the way.
Maybe that was his plan for them getting back together. He’d simply lead her right into a relationship with him.
It wasn’t that long ago that she followed him everywhere.
Maybe it was that simple. That easy.
So she didn’t hesitate to walk out of the café and wait while Cody locked up.
“So this is how it is? I lose everything and Little Miss Magic Cunt gets you and is the talk of the town.”
Brooke nearly jumped out of her skin as she spun to face the woman spewing those angry words.
“Kristi,” she gasped, though she shouldn’t be surprised at all.
Chapter Twenty
Cody gently pushed Brooke behind his back and faced off with his ex. “Watch your mouth.”
