Still, they’d probably work it out. Kristi would get her way. She always did. And Cody would still be hers.
Another wave of sadness rolled over Brooke as she left the two of them behind to wallow in her grief and somehow get through the next minute.
And the one after that.
And the one after that.
She didn’t want to think about how hard it was getting to live one moment to the next.
Cody finished his call in his office and walked back into the living room. Kristi stood by the windows, looking out at the pool and backyard, completely lost in thought. He just bet the wheels were turning. When she looked at him, eyes filled with sympathy, he didn’t believe it for a second. Not after the way she’d acted when he brought Brooke home or a few minutes ago when she’d tried to confront Brooke.
In the last three days, she hadn’t even attempted to talk to him about how he felt about losing his daughter. Brooke had known just by looking at him, he quietly suffered. She’d acknowledged both his losses and known how much he wanted to be a dad.
Kristi had skimmed over the miscarriage and focused on the wedding. Maybe that helped her cope, but it looked and felt like the loss didn’t hit her the way it did him.
That never sat right with him.
He couldn’t believe she’d chosen to confront Brooke about sleeping with him and had no compassion for all Brooke had suffered, physically and mentally.
He’d spent all his time with Brooke since he brought her home. Kristi saw what was coming and wanted to stake a claim and reel him back in.
But he didn’t belong to her.
He didn’t want to be with her.
He only wanted to make Brooke well and bring her back to him.
Kristi glided over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.
He gently took her wrists, stepped back, and let her arms fall back to her sides as he analyzed everything she did. He thought back over their relationship and every time she’d approached him like this, trying to smooth over some upset between them.
Was any of it sincere? Ever?
His insides went cold.
She stared up at him, her blue eyes narrowed with concern. “Cody, honey. I’m so sorry you’re hurting. The last several days have been tough for you. I can see Brooke is despondent. It must be hard dealing with her when she’s being so difficult.”
“She was attacked by a madman. Her baby was murdered. She’s in more pain than any one person should have to endure. She’s sadder than any person deserves to be. And your concernfor me is that she’s been difficult to deal with these last few days?”
She opened her mouth to say something, but he didn’t want to hear it.
“She can’t talk to me because she can’t think of anything but the loss of our daughter. She can’t move without being in pain and that only reminds her more of what happened. She jumps when anyone approaches her. She has nightmares that make her scream in the night. And you think I care that she’s quiet and hurting and lost inside herself,” he growled.
“I only meant to tell you that I’m here for you. I’m here for you to talk to and share some of the burden.”
“Share the burden,” he repeated in disbelief. “Are you going to share the burden of begging her to eat? Will you sit with her and watch her cry for hours, knowing there’s nothing you can say or do to ease her pain? Will you tend to her many wounds? Would you be able to look at the eight-inch scar on her stomach and not remember a baby was inside her not two weeks ago? Can you look into her eyes knowing you can’t give that back to her?”
His throat ached with all the sadness he held inside. “No. Probably not that last one, because you’re glad the baby is gone. Then it won’t come between you and me and the wedding you so desperately want.”
The unconscious nod and pressing of her lips together told him he’d hit the mark. “I love you. More than anything. We’re good together.” She plastered on a soft smile and gazed up at him, her eyes soft with concern.
Probably for herself and everything she was about to lose.
“Cody, please. Don’t make any rash decisions. You’re upset. We can discuss this later. She’s going to be fine. We’ll get past this and move forward with our lives together.”
He ignored the last part and glared at her harshly. “She’ll be fine? Do you really think so? Because I wonder if she’ll everbe anywhere close to fine again,” he said, almost completely defeated. “I hope she’ll be able to look at me someday and not blame me for what happened. I hope I’ll be able to look in the mirror and not blame myself.”
“It’s not your fault.” Kristi reached out to touch him, but he backed up a step. Her eyes went wide with surprise that he’d do such a thing. Again. “I hate seeing you this way. You didn’t do anything wrong,” she yelled at him.
