Images of her growing up on the ranch and all the time they’d spent together played like a documentary of their lives together. Every image and memory reminded him how close they’d always been. They were part of each other’s lives, and he’d pushed her away. Because she was too young. Because it wasn’t appropriate. Because he’d thought Kristi suited his life better. Because Kristi had been pregnant with his child. Because he’d been scared.
That last truth really hit hard, but it was a truth he had to face.
What if he didn’t live up to the romantic version of him she’d imagined?
What if he lost her because he couldn’t be what she thought him to be?
What if you don’t try and you lose her anyway?
What if what you shared that night is what you share for the rest of your life?
God, he wanted that.
Because in the last six months, he hadn’t felt right. Something had always been missing, and that something had always been Brooke. Without her, his life would always be lacking and incomplete.
I can’t live like this anymore.
No matter what, he’d find a way to make things right with Brooke.
He’d find a way to make her believe in him again.
He’d prove to her how much he loved her.
Chapter Thirteen
Cody stood beside Brooke, looking into the stall at the gelding. He’d thought it might do her some good to come down to the stables and see the horses she loved. The chestnut, he hoped, would bring a smile to her face. She loved the horses and riding.
It wasn’t working though. She had spent the last three days home, refusing to leave her bed. Every day she got worse. Her body needed the rest, but she barely ate, she didn’t speak, and she stared blankly at the walls for hours. When she wasn’t lying there with that vacant look, she cried.
He tried to be patient and understand how she felt. He was sad about his daughter and that sadness grew each day he didn’t have her with them. It seemed that sadness grew exponentially every time he looked at Brooke and saw the emptiness in her eyes.
“What do you think, sweetheart? He’s beautiful, right?”
As if the horse sensed her despair, he came to the gate and rubbed his nose against Brooke’s cheek.
Brooke seemed to know what the horse wanted and gave him a rub. “You’re sweet.” Brooke took the carrot he’d brought down and held it out for the horse to take. She almost smiled.
Cody thought this was a good sign. She’d responded to the horses. Then, he saw the tears streaming down Brooke’s face and had second thoughts. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.
“Brooke…” His phone rang. He pulled it from his back pocket and glanced at the caller ID. “Honey, I have to take this. It’s my office. A plea deal I’ve been working on with the ADA.” He didn’t know if she heard him or not.
She turned and walked away, unsteady on her feet. He kept an eye on her and answered his phone.
He followed as she made her way back toward the house. He thought she was going to go inside, back to her bed to hide. Instead, she veered to the rear of the house and the garden. The day was bright and clear; the sun would do her good. She’d kept herself cooped up in the house far too long.
He tried to keep an eye on Brooke and talk to his assistant on the phone. The last three days had been overwhelming, trying to balance being home with Brooke, checking in with the ranch manager, and going back and forth to his office and court. He’d never been busier. He’d never hated work so much because it took him away from her. But the ranch was doing well. Thank God. The children’s hospital board didn’t meet for a couple of weeks. And his brilliant assistant had already rescheduled client meetings and court dates for non-urgent matters. All he had to do was finish up the priority cases, so he could be home full-time with Brooke for the next few weeks.
She needed him. He needed to be with her. He wanted to show her he was all in. She could count on him.
He still had to take care of the wedding.
And he owed Kristi a proper conversation.
Kristi had come to the house the other day, but Susanne sent her away.
He wasn’t ready to take on everything at once, but he’d realized he didn’t have a choice. The wedding was scheduled to take place in ten days and he had to deal with it. His saint of an assistant was helping him do that, and Kristi would arrive at the house at any time for them to finally have their talk. He wasn’t looking forward to it, but it couldn’t be put off any longer.
“Honey.”
