Flashes of memories of his attack on her assailed her mind and made it hard to think.
He pulled her into the room, kicking the door shut with barely a sound, then turning them so his back was to the door. He walked her backward, toward the bed.
Cold terror paralyzed her mind. She needed to fight, but couldn’t make her body respond to that order as a cold chill ran through her.
Her knees hit the bed, and he pushed her down so she sat on the edge, then pulled a gun from behind his back and pointed it in her face. “I’m going to take my hand away. Don’t scream.”
She scrambled back on the bed, ended up on her knees, and held up both hands, palms up to block a bullet that would rip right through her. “Don’t shoot, Adam. Please. Leave me alone,” she begged, tears welling in her eyes.
He shook the gun at her. “Do you see me?”
She stared at him, from his black hoodie down his black jeans to his black boots. “Yes, Adam. I see you.”
He pointed the gun at the window. “They don’t. No one does.” He pointed the gun at her. “Only youseeme.”
“I do. I see that you need help. You should be in the hospital.”How did he get out?
He brushed his fingers through his hair, pulling it when he reached the ends. “Fuck that place. All they want to do is keep me sedated and stupid.”
He went to the door, locked it, then turned back, pointed the gun at her again, and closed the distance between them. “I’m not spending my life in a place like that, wasting away.”
“Adam, the doctors can help you control your urges.”
He shook his head. “After tonight, I won’t need that.”
Her whole body shook. “What do you mean?”
“My parents want to leave me in that place. Lock me up and throw away the key. Their visits have slowed. It won’t be long until they don’t come at all. No one will remember who I am, or what I did, andtheywon’t have to accept that…They.Made. Me. This. Way!” He slammed his fisted hand into his head with each of those words.
She hoped Cody heard Adam’s shouted rant. “I understand you’re upset they sent you there. They want to help you.”
“I don’t need help! I deserve to be punished for what I’ve done.” His gaze went soft on her. “I love you. Inevermeant to hurt you.” He pressed his hand and the gun to his forehead. “You were supposed to see how much I love you. How good we could be together. But nothing went right. You didn’t want to be with me. You want to be withhim!” Adam pointed the gun at her bedroom door. “I know you lovehim. I heard you say it at the bookstore. And now you’re getting married.” He stared at the ring on her finger on the hand she had fisted, clutched over her heart with her other hand. The one he’d broken.
She tried to explain her side of things. “Adam, I loved Cody long before I met you. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t like you, that we weren’t friends. You tried so hard to get my attention. You sent all those wonderful gifts, but you never told me howyoufelt. Not once when we spoke in person. You could have said something at the picnic, the Christmas party, one of the outings with all our friends,” she said, reminding him of the good times they’d shared, letting him know she hadn’t forgotten.
His eyes went soft as his body relaxed. “I wanted to, but the words wouldn’t come. My nerves got the better of me. I wanted so badly to whisper them in your ear, then shout them to the world. But we were never alone. I wanted it to be you and me. I wanted to spend time with you. I wanted so many things.” He shook his head with regret. “Now look what’s happened.” He hit the side of the gun against his head once, twice, over and over again. “I fucked it all up!”
“Adam, please, stop. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
“It hurts so bad, knowing that I hurt you.”
“Then why did you do it? Why did you push me off that curb and try to burn down my store?” She knew he’d attacked her in a rage about the baby, but not why he’d tried to hurt her again if he felt this remorseful.
“You won’t believe me.”
“Maybe I will if you tell me the truth.”
His shoulders went lax. “It wasn’t me. Yes, I was following you, but only because I wanted to get you alone.” He gripped his hair and tugged. “Not like that. Like this, so I could talk to you.”
With a gun?
She kept her mouth shut about that. “Then tell me. If it wasn’t you, then who?”
“I don’t know. Some blonde. She saw you and slipped in behind you with the others. I thought maybe she was a friend of yours, though she’s a bit older than you. When she pushed you, Ifroze. I couldn’t believe it. Then I rushed forward, thinking that was it, you were dead. I’d never get to talk to you, to tell you…everything. And it would all be for nothing. No one would care.”
“About what?”
“This. Me. You. What happened. I need you to understand. To be with me.”
