She seemed so calm while he was a whirlwind of contained emotions.
Of course, she’d had time to process what happened.
He was still reeling from the loss.
She bit her bottom lip. “I’m fine. I woke up one morning with terrible cramps. It happened quickly, just my body’s way of saying something was wrong.” Her gaze fell to the floor, then met his again. “I told myself it was for the best. We could take a little time to settle into marriage before we tried again.”
“And you didn’t feel the need to contact me, to call me to come over and help you, to come to me at all?”
“You were in court that day. One of your big cases. I took the day off work and was back in the office the next day.”
Like nothing happened. Like it didn’t change anything.
Her shoulders sank and her eyes pleaded with him. “I tried to tell you so many times. The only time we’ve truly had together, we’ve either been in a crowd, or we’ve only had a few minutes to talk about the wedding.”
Was that more important than talking about their baby?
“You’ve been so busy with your cases, the trouble here at the ranch with that bull, or whatever…”
“And you couldn’t take two seconds to say, ‘Hey, Cody, guess what? I lost the baby.’” He couldn’t believe she’d kept this from him. He didn’t want to admit how much it hurt that not only did he lose a child, but she hadn’t even thought it mattered enough for him to be with her to see her through the ordeal.
“I know how much you were looking forward to being a father.”
It was the one thing that made losing Brooke bearable.
It was the reason he and Kristi were getting married.
She lost the baby and just kept on going with those plans without telling him that his baby was gone.
He didn’t know what to say or feel right now. Everything inside him felt numb.
“There’s no reason to think we can’t still have kids. We’ll just wait until after the wedding. That’s how it should be anyway.”
He’d lost his best friend and now he wasn’t going to be a father. “I really don’t know what to do right now. Maybe we need to take a step back and figure this out.”
Her head tilted and her eyes narrowed. “Are you talking about calling off the wedding? Because I lost the baby?”
“It was the reason I asked you to marry me.” His blunt words made her cringe.
“Yes,” she admitted, her eyes filled with anger now. “Because that’s the kind of man you are, and the man I love.”
That sounded too much like what Brooke had said to him, and it hurt. Deeply.
She stood before him. “We talked about getting married long before I told you I was pregnant. The pregnancy was a catalyst for our engagement, but it isn’t the only reason we’re getting married.”
“I know that, but you should have told me immediately that you lost the baby. It wasours.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’ve just been…overwhelmed by everything.”
“You and me both. That’s why I think we need to take a moment and think about the future.”
“Don’t do this, Cody. We’ve built a solid relationship for more than a year. We’ve grown closer with each passing day. I love you.” Tears gathered in her pleading eyes.
She pressed her overlapping hands to her belly. “You love me. I know you do. What’s between us isn’t just an obligation because of a baby. We love each other, and we have a good life together.” She placed her hand on his chest over his heart. “We have a bright future ahead of us and children will be a part of it. Please, Cody. I love you. Marry me.” A tear slipped down her cheek, followed by another, though she held it together and didn’t completely fall apart.
He had to admit, he hadn’t made it easy for her to talk to him lately about anything. He’d cut her off a dozen times when she’d tried to talk to him, imploring him that it was important. As much as he wanted to blame her, part of the blame rested on his shoulders.
He pulled her up and into his arms and held her.
