Okay, he did. But he tried not to.
He hated himself for always disappointing her. He felt guilty for giving her that moment and taking it away. Yes, he cared every time he hurt her.
But it had to be this way.
She’d barely lived outside of the life she had on the ranch. Safe. Protected. She’d dated some but never had a boyfriend. She majored in business but had never had an actual job outside of helping out on the ranch.
She had opportunities awaiting her, life experiences to live. How could she know with such certainty that if they were together it would all work out? She couldn’t. Because she’d never been with anyone and lost them. He couldn’t take that chance. She was too important, too necessary in his life to risk it.
And the last thing he’d ever want to do was break her heart.
Better to keep her as a friend than an ex.
And she deserved to have a full life, one where she got to experience all the things he’d already been through to get to the point where he was ready to settle down and have a family. She was too young to clip her wings before she’d ever soared.
She’d come home for Christmas and everything would be the way it was supposed to be.
Chapter Eleven
December 20th– Christmas Party at Brooke’s home…
Cody tried to tamp down his excitement by sucking in a deep breath and letting it out as he pulled on his dress shirt and called out, “I’ve been waiting to see you,” as his bedroom door opened.
He really tried not to show his disappointment when Kristi walked in.
Her bright smile dimmed and he knew she knew he was expecting Brooke.
He tried to cover. “You’re early. And you look amazing.” She did. The gold strapless dress made her skin glow and her blue eyes stand out.
Her gaze swept over him, landing on his chest where it was exposed between the two sides of his unbuttoned shirt.
“You keep looking at me like that, and I’ll have to do something about it.” He went to her and kissed her cheek, not wanting to mess up her lipstick.
She stepped back and eyed him. “Who were you expecting to walk through your bedroom door?”
Like she didn’t know. But he wasn’t going to play this jealous game. Not tonight when they were expecting a houseful of guests.
“You.” He started buttoning his shirt.
She raised a golden brow. “Brooke’s home, right?”
“Yes. She arrived the day before yesterday.” He kept his voice neutral.
Kristi narrowed her eyes. “How is she?”
“Good. I think. I haven’t gotten a chance to really catch up with her. I’ve been working to clear my desk before the holidays and she spent time with Susanne, riding her horse, and catching up with everyone on the ranch.” His anticipation grew until it felt like a need he could barely contain. He missed her so much.
“I bet you’re excited to spend time with her tonight.”
He couldn’t lie. “I am.”
“Even though you promised we’d stick together and greet all the guests asthecouple who are throwing this party. Right?”
The holiday party was a big deal in their social circle. People were busy this time of year. Getting everyone who RSVP’d together here tonight was a sign of just how well everyone respected and liked him and how far he’d come in his career and standing in the community.
Cody could write off the summer picnic as everyone just being nice after his father died. But for them all to show up again tonight spoke to the fact that they considered him important and part of their social circle.
And Kristi wanted to be with him in that.
