What I want doesn’t matter.
Turning my head, I meet his gray eyes that seem stormy this morning. “Getting to be here with you and Lainey makes me happy.”
The corner of his mouth lifts slightly. “As long as you’re really happy.”
I force another smile to my lips. “I am.”
Changing the subject, he says, “Remember, the therapists are coming tomorrow morning.”
I nod, and when he gets up and reaches for the girls’ empty plates, I say, “You made breakfast for them. I’ll clean up.”
“Just put everything in the sink. Frances will be in any minute.” He seems to hesitate for a moment before starting to walk away. “I’ll be in the study reading through the scripts.”
“Okay.”
With a heavy heart, I stare after Easton, and once he’s out of my sight, I let out a miserable sigh.
Maybe I can talk to the therapist about Easton and me. I sure could use some advice right now.
God, I miss you, Rach. You’d know exactly how to fix this mess I’ve created.
Sitting on the couch, my knee bounces nervously as I wait for the therapist to finish meeting with Lainey.
My first session went as okay as can be expected. Regina seems nice, and she assured me she’s helped many people deal with past trauma, the loss of a loved one, and the uncertainty of the future.
It took her mere minutes to pick up on my anxiety, and we touched lightly on everything I’m struggling with. She mostly asked questions, which I answered as honestly as possible.
We’ll meet on a weekly basis until I’ve learned to cope better with everything. Before our session ended, she recommended that I try meditating, practicing mindfulness, and breathing exercises to ease my anxiety.
Noticing I’m wound tight, I force my leg to stop jumping and suck in a deep breath before letting it out slowly.
One breath at a time.
One thing at a time.
One day at a time.
“Is Lainey still with Eden?” Easton suddenly asks from behind me.
“Yes.” I check the time on my phone. “They’re running a little late.”
Movement from outside draws our attention as Eden and Lainey get up from the chairs on the veranda. Easton darts forward to open the sliding doors, and as they step inside, he asks, “How did it go?”
“I’m going upstairs,” Lainey says, her eyes red and swollen from crying.
I quickly look at the therapist, and once Lainey is out of hearing distance, she says, “Lainey is an amazing little girl, but she’s struggling to cope with the sudden loss of her mother. It’s going to take a few sessions to help her work through the complex emotions.” Eden pulls her phone outand looks at it, then says, “I’d like to see her on a weekly basis. Once she returns to school, we can move the session to the afternoons or have them on Saturdays.”
“Afternoons will be better,” Easton replies. Worry creases his forehead as he asks, “Will she be okay, though?”
Eden gives us a reassuring smile. “Everyone deals with grief differently, and I can’t say how long it will take before she feels better, but she’ll get there eventually.”
Easton nods. “Thank you for coming.” His eyes only touch on me briefly. “I’ll check on Lainey.”
“I’ll walk you out,” I tell Eden and head in the direction of the front door with her. “Thank you again for coming over.”
“Enjoy the rest of your day.” She smiles politely as she walks to her car and climbs into the driver’s seat.
Letting out a sigh, I head back into the house, and when I look at all the bouquets that were sent to Easton after Rachel passed away, I notice the flowers in the vase are wilted and need to be replaced. It’s something Rachel insisted on doing on a weekly basis.
