Instead of breaking down, Nova’s hold on me tightens, and she whispers, “I’m here for you. We’ll get through this. Somehow.”
I nod because we have no choice but to power through the hell. There’s no way around it.
When Lainey seems to calm down, I pull away from Nova.
I crouch and place my hand on Lainey’s back. “Let’s make your mom more comfortable.”
“I’ll get her pajamas,” Nova says before rushing off toward the stairs.
“Will you get a bottle of water?” I ask Lainey.
Even though she nods and walks to the kitchen, she keeps looking at Rachel as if she’s afraid her mother will up and vanish any second.
I turn my attention to my sister, and seeing how weak she is stomps all over my already-crushed heart.
Keeping my tone gentle, I ask, “How do you feel?”
She tries to smile, but the fear on her face makes it goddamn impossible. “I’m okay.”
Christ.
I sit down beside her, and bracing my forearm above her head, I lean in close and say, “You don’t have to be strong for us. All that matters right now is you, Rach. Don’t hide your feelings from us. If you need to be angry, then be angry. If you need to break, then break. We are all here for you.”
I haven’t noticed Nova’s come back until she says, “I think we should all just scream our heads off.”
I sit up to give her a what-the-hell look, but Rachel begins to nod.
Lainey brings the bottle of water, and wanting her to be prepared, I ask, “Are you going to scream with your mom and aunt?”
She nods.
“On three,” Nova says. “One. Two. Three.”
When they all let out heartbreaking screams, I almost close my eyes as the most intense wave of sorrow hits me, but my gaze is locked on my sister as her voice gives out and sobs rip from her.
Lainey throws herself over Rachel, and I quickly place my hand on her back in an attempt to comfort her.
I turn my attention to Nova, and I watch as her breath hitches, but again, she somehow reins in her emotions.
Rachel is the next to calm down, but Lainey remains inconsolable.
I pull my niece onto my lap and begin to rock her gently while murmuring, “It’s okay, sweetheart. Shhh ... it’s okay.”
Nova glances at us. “Do you mind leaving the room so I can help Rachel change into her pajamas?”
With Lainey in my arms, I climb to my feet and walk to the sliding doors. Stepping out onto the veranda, I take a seat on one of the chairs and hold Lainey while I just stare out over the garden, not taking in any of the scenery.
Rachel is going to die, and there’s nothing any of us can do to stop it.
My mind races, and I think about pulling Lainey out of school so she can spend as much time with her mother as possible before the end. Or maybe I should let her go to school so she gets a breather from all the heartache that’s going to fill the house.
Fuck. What will be best for Lainey?
Keeping one arm locked around my niece, who’s stopped crying and is lying against my chest, I pull my phone out of my pocket and send Sylvia a text to find the best therapist for Lainey who’s willing to make house calls. I feel Lainey would be more comfortable here at home than in some random office.
Not even a minute after sending the text, she replies.
Sylvia: I’ll find a therapist ASAP. How are you all holding up?
