I give her a sheepish look. “It’s not a crush.”
Surprise flits over her face, then her features soften. “You love him?”
When I nod, it feels freeing that I finally get to share my secret with her, but then I quickly add, “Please don’t tell him.”
“I won’t.” Her eyes narrow on me. “Are there any other secrets you’re keeping from me?”
I quickly shake my head. “Nope.”
“Good.” She hands me the camera. “Point it at me and press record.”
“Okay.” I look for the record button, and after pressing it, I peer through the lens and make sure Rachel is in focus. “Ready.”
She sits up straight, and a loving smile curves her lips. “Hi, bestie. This video is for you to watch whenever you need me after I’m gone.”
Oh God.
“You’re the most kindhearted person I know, and I love you so much, but you have to stop letting people walk all over you. You deserve so much better.” She leans a little forward, and it feels like she’s looking into my soul as she says, “You deserve to be cherished and loved, Nova. The right man will come along, and you’ll get your happily-ever-after. I believe it with all my heart. When that day comes, I ask only four things of you. Accept that you’re allowed to be happy, and don’t forget about Lainey.”
“I won’t,” I promise. “I will love her with all my heart.”
Rachel gives me a grateful look. “Thank you.” Sitting back, she continues, “The third thing I need from you is to look out for Easton. Keep him grounded and remind him to take breaks, or he’ll work himself to death.”
“How do I keep him grounded?” I ask, fully intent on carrying out all her wishes.
“It’s the little things like making breakfast together, or having a barbeque, or just talking about the old days and reminding him where he came from.”
I nod. “I can do that.”
She sucks in a deep breath before continuing, “The fourth thing. I really want you to see a therapist. I don’t want you getting panic attacks and living in fear of men. Okay?”
With a lump forming in my throat, I can only nod.
For a moment, she stares at me with so much love shining from her eyes it makes a tear spill down my cheek.
“You’re an amazing friend, Nova. I’ve loved every second we’ve spent together. From the first day when I saw you in the classroom, I just knew you were mine.”
My chin quivers as I think back on that day. I thought Rachel was the prettiest girl I’d ever seen, and I followed her around like a lost puppy.
“I don’t know what comes next, but if there’s a way for me to look out for you from the other side, I will.”
The sound escaping from me is a cross between a sob and a chuckle. “If anyone can find a way, it will be you.”
She takes the camera from me and keeps the lens on her as she scoots closer until she’s pressed against my side. She wraps her arm around my shoulders and gives me a kiss on my cheek, then says, “No matter where I am, I will always love you, Nova.”
I nod, and unable to stop the tears from falling, I say, “I’ll always love you, Rach.” I blink quickly so I can keep eye contact with her. “You’re the most important person in my life.”
“We got through puberty and a lot of other shit together,” she says, letting out a sad chuckle. “We’ll get through this as well.”
I’m not so sure I’ll get through it, but I’ll do my best.
Rachel stops the recording, then closes her eyes, and sucks in a trembling breath.
Placing my hand on her back, I gently rub up and down in an attempt to comfort her. “If I could swap places with you, I would.”
She has so much more to live for than I do.
She opens her eyes to look at me, and as tears escape her eyes, she whispers, “I know. That’s why I love you so much.” She takes another deep breath, then says, “Next video.”
