I felt myself shutting down, a self-preservation trigger I wasn’t even aware of. Kaiden frowned like he could see right through me to the gooey dark center where I attempted to hide.
“Don’t do this,” he begged, leaning forward to get a better look at me. “Don’t go backward.”
I shook my head. I wasn’t, but talking about bonding wasn’t something I was ready to delve into yet.
“You’re scared.” My heart pounded, and there was a very real chance he could hear it. “You’ve spent so much time and energy, so much of yourself, fighting it and what you think being bonded means for your future.”
His thumb ran soothing circles over my hip bone, right under where the stitches used to be. The easy touches grounded me, and for the first time, I didn’t think about running far and fast from this topic. With each pass over my skin, I sank into the mattress, more relaxed. Did he even realize what he was doing?
“I know it will take time for those feelings to change, but part of working through things is talking about them.” Kaiden leaned even closer, hovering over me in a way that was both comforting and had my heart beating against its cage for a completely different reason. “What scares you about it?” he asked.
It took a moment for me to find the words, but he didn’t rush me. Just kept that thumb moving in slow, tight circles.
“Mainly, that…” I closed my eyes so I could focus. Kaiden wasn’t having it. His thumb pressed in, sending a shock down my leg. “Once it's done, it can’t be changed,” I rushed out. That pressure paused and then resumed a breath later. I dared a look. The blue in his gaze was darker in this light, but they urged me to continue. “What if things are different on the other side? What ifyouare? What if, down the road, we don’t see eye to eye when there’s no longer a common enemy?”
“Thingswillbe different,” he admitted.
Well, that was helpful. Not.
“No, don’t frown at me. It will be different because it’s a choice. When we bond, it will be because wechooseone another, not because it’s safer or because my family pressured us to do it.I will choose to let you see all of me and all that I am with the knowledge that only you can make me better. Only you can look past the controlling, overthinking, selfish parts of me to the even more greedy man inside that covets you for all the right reasons. Your utter loyalty. Your inner fire and conviction when you’re angry. Your huge heart. To the man that wantsyouexactly as you are.” Somewhere in his speech, he got closer. That hand left my hip to snake around the back of my neck, anchoring me to him in yet another way. His eyes flicked side to side as he watched my face. “On my life, our bonding is the only thing I can swear you willneverregret.”
I think I stopped breathing entirely. It was possible my lungs had melted and could no longer function. They were now a goopy mess of flesh thatcouldn’t do their job. Their one job.
“Then show me,” I wheezed, catching him by surprise. As his brows rose, I blushed and backpedaled a bit. “Not…bond, but show me how it could be between us.”
Kaiden
How did I ever get so lucky? I wasn’t sure I’d done anything in my life to deserve this brave, absolutely captivating woman beneath me, but I was going to make sure I earned every second of her trust. Her fear was palpable, a physical intruder on this moment, but she faced it and offered herself to me despite it.
She wasn’t ready to bond, that was fine. I’d wait forever if she asked me to. Right now was my chance to show her what the rest of her life would look like. A lifetime in my bed and forever burrowed in my heart.
I leaned over her and took advantage of that position to slide the soaked purple lace down and off her trembling legs. Doing a double-check on her emotions, I made sure she was still with me before continuing. She watched my every move, eyes wide and slowly darkening with arousal. The feel of them on me sent blood rushing right to the head of my cock, and my pants grew tight.
A condition I’d have to suffer a little longer. This was about her, and what I had planned was more fun anyway.Show me how it could be between us. Gods. Did she know how that simple demand wrecked me in all the best ways? I pushed her shirt out of my way, taking her bralette with it over her head. My hands then went straight for a palmful of her perky breasts.
Fuck.
Her breath stuttered as I took a nipple into my mouth and sucked. Hard. My girl liked a little roughness with her gentle touches. Another suck that ended in a bite had her arching off the bed. I wondered if she could come just from me playing like this? I smirked against her skin. An experiment for another day, I couldn’t get sidetracked.
Kissing up her chest, I suckled at a spot on her neck that I knew made her squirm. So fucking responsive. It was addictive, and so damn satisfying to feel, both physically and down the bond. I rested the majority of my weight on my elbow by her head but allowed my lower half to settle between her thighs.
I was hard. Like a godsdammed rock, so I knew she felt me, but just in case, I rolled my hips…right…there. Her gasp was like music to my ears, and I did it again.
“Feel that?” I breathed into her ear before nipping the delicate lobe. “That’s for you. All of it.”
She squirmed wildly beneath me, so I used my free hand to pin her hips against the mattress. The front of my jeans grew wet with every thrust against her, and I was careful to rub the denimjust right against her clit. Giving her just enough friction to make her thighs shake and her moans echo in my ear.
“This is true,” I growled and rolled my hips again. “This is real.” I surrounded her on two fronts, physical and mental. I opened my side of the bond and made sure to let her feel every admission of love I had contained within me. “Don’t deny it,” I whispered when she cried out of the barrage of sensations. “Don’t hide from it.”
I built her up to the edge. Push and pull. Roll my hips, then stop. I wanted her writhing like one brush on her skin would set her off. When she reached that pinnacle, I stopped and flipped us over. The abrupt change in position confused her, and her adorable pout made me even harder. Fuck, my cock was going to fall off at this rate, but it was worth it.
My palms skimmed up the back of her thighs and a gentle nudge had her falling forward. Her palms slammed into the pillow on either side of my head.
“Ride my face, princess,” I told her, mouth already watering at the thought of getting to taste her again.
“What?” she shrieked and moved as if to climb off.
We couldn’t have that. I held her hips, grip tight, and dragged her the rest of the way over me. Her arms swung in a cute pinwheel as she lost her balance.
