“Of course. I may not be excellent at many tasks, but I do have a very good memory.”
The phrasing of her response jarred him. Not because it was odd, but that he’d noticed it to be a common pattern. Setting down his teacup, he watched her for a moment. Her movements were typical, if a bit faster than most ladies were wont to do. She poured her own tea in an instant and stirred her sugar vigorously before dropping in a quick plop of cream and stirring loudly again.
“You often say that you are not good at many tasks. Why is that?”
At his question, she stilled, her teacup halfway to her mouth. After a moment, she continued to bring it to her lips and sipped. When she set it down in her saucer, it clinked hard and she stared at it as if it were the source of all her woes. “It is no secret that I am not quite gentle enough as a lady, nor accomplished as one. All my friends know it and my family is quite vocal about it. I do apologize if you had been hoping for someone more refined to better fit your formal bearing.”
Anger flashed from his gut to his head in an instant, catching him by surprise. That anyone would be so cruel as to make her think she was unworthy to be a lady caused a strong protective instinct to rise hard up his back. “I reject your apology. You have no reason whatsoever to be apologetic. If anyone deserves an apology, it is you, from your family.” He bit down on his next words, about to utter a curse that was not for a lady’s ears.
Her gaze snapped to his in shock. “My family? But they are the ones that pointed out my shortcomings so that I may improve. It is entirely my fault that I have not been able to make progress.” She gave him a self-deprecating smile. “Though I do admit that since my classmates are telling me I’m perfect the way I am, I did not work too hard on improving over the last two years.”
“Then you must classify me with your classmates. I see no area that needs improvement.”
Her brows lowered. “But you’re so—”
He held up his hand. “I know. I’m so formal and stuffy. But that’s why I need you to stay the way you are. It would be remiss of me to allow my children to become just like me. Please, do not make any improvements.”
Her bright-blue gaze softened. “Truly?”
His anger almost boiled over at seeing tears in her eyes, but he kept it in check—barely. “Yes.”
Ellie jumped up, knocking her chair over as she grasped his face and gave him a resounding kiss. “Thank you. You don’t know how happy you’ve made me.” She let go and stood, clasping her hands to her chest. “Today has been the most marvelous day of my life.”
He sat enthralled by the pure joy that seemed to emanate from her. It was, no doubt, simply the sun’s rays coming from behind her, but he felt it inside him, as if she shed her warmththroughhim.
She reached out to him. “Come, stand with me while I view your beautiful estate.”
He rose without thinking, taking her hand as she led him to the end of the glassed-in terrace to look at the gardens, forests, and fields. Only then did her words register. “It is our estate now.”
She squeezed his hand without looking at him.
But he looked at her, trying to decide how he could be most worthy of her. Did she have a refined, aquiline nose? No, it actually turned up a bit at the end. Were her ears quite small? No, actually, they seemed larger than his own. Was she beautiful? Yes. Uniquely beautiful to look at and warmly beautiful to be with. If it hadn’t been for his brother, Anthony, he would never have met her.
That was a sobering thought. Though Anthony had arranged the marriage because he owed Darius a favor, it appeared to have been overpaid.
Ellie’s fascination with the view didn’t last long. She let go of his hand and faced the rest of the room. “I must have my friends here. They will love this place. I’m so glad I asked Mrs. Torbett to have all the rooms on this floor prepared.”
So that was why the furniture covers had been removed, and the staff had been about. “I thought you were only having three friends visit, plus my brother and his wife.”
She strode into the center of the room, her partially open dress reminding him he still had a number of buttons to close. “Well, yes, after St. Nicholas Day, but I’m sure many people will wish to stay the night of the masquerade ball, maybe even the weekend.”
His brief glimpse at contentment vanished in an instant. “I do not believe a Twelfth Night Ball necessary.”
She turned at that. “Of course it is. It is the culmination of the season and will set the New Year off on the right foot.”
And what if it started on the wrong foot, with him unable to attend? It was far too much of a risk. “No. I am opposed to it.”
Her brow furrowed. “But why? Oh, will it be too much expense for our coffers? I do admit I did not—”
“No. You need never worry about that.”
“Then why, Darius?”
Because if a black mood comes upon me, I won’t be here—or worse, it may come upon me that night.Long ago he’d given up trying to figure out why they came. But he couldn’t admit that. “This staff has never prepared for a ball. It will be too much.” The excuse sounded weak even to his ears.
Ellie, though, gave his words consideration. “You’re right, of course, that it would be new for the staff and there would be more needed. I will consult with Mrs. Torbett and tell her to behonest. It might be that a much smaller scale would be more appropriate.”
He opened his mouth, but she held up her hand.
