If she didn’t know better, she would say he was drunk, but no glass was nearby and a book lay open upon his lap. Curious, she crept closer. It was a poem by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, but she couldn’t see which one, though a few lines were visible beneath Darius’s hand. Sophie would know which one it was on sight, but Ellie’s own knowledge was more earthbound. She stood in indecision. Should she wake him or should she allow him sleep?
By the state of his study, he’d been very busy, and most likely that was to while away the time until Peter was better. She took a step back. If he’d finally found rest, she wouldn’t disturb it.Carefully, she made her way back to the doors. As she pulled the first one closed, she caught it just as it was about to slam, having already forgotten to be careful. Silently, she pulled it shut. Relieved that Darius was home and they could speak in the morning, she climbed the stairs once again to her bedroom.
Inside, she set the lamp down and dropped her robe on the chair by her fireplace. After adding bits of coal to the fire, she waited until heat poured forth before moving to the chest at the end of her bed. She was far too excited about Peter getting well and finding her husband to go to sleep. She knelt before her chest and lifted the lid. Inside were various shifts, sheets, and a dozen or so unfinished embroidery squares.
She dug her hands underneath everything until she felt the brown paper. Pulling the large book from its hiding space, she immediately ripped open the paper.The Education of the Feminine Speciesrevealed itself in all its leather-bound glory. She opened the cover and breathed in at the real title of the tome,The Illustrated Pleasure of Seduction. This was what she would read, as there was no better time to read such a scandalous book.
Quickly, she stuffed the brown paper back under the linens and closed her chest. She rose and brought the book to the chair before the fire. After lighting another lamp on the mantel, she sat and opened the book. She flipped through the inscription, the pages of illustrations of a naked man and a naked woman familiar. She may only have now to learn more before she became a wife in truth, and she wanted to know as much as possible about how it felt.
The next few pages she’d already viewed. Page five was a naked pair coupling, with the woman below the man, but the next few pages had the two people clothed as the man touched the woman in rather innocuous places. When Ellie had first seen these, she’d thought them silly. But at the remembered feelingof touching Darius, she could now see why a man’s knuckles stroked gently across a woman’s cheek, or the touch of his bare finger on her collarbone, would cause her belly to react like a meteorite fell inside her.
She passed by the next few pages and quickly focused on page ten. At this illustration, she felt herself heat. The man and woman, still completely dressed, kissed as he held her tight against him, his hand cupping her behind and her arms around his neck as he pressed her full length against him. To be wanted so much that a man would hold her in such a way had her heart melting. Would Darius do this?
She’d previously refused to read the book Lissa had found buried in the stacks at the school because she’d given up hope that she would ever feel what was shown. But now, the possibility loomed large and enticing. The idea of being wanted by Darius, not simply for an heir but for herself, was a heady thought, and one she’d never hoped for. After being told by her family and Society, both verbally and otherwise, that she wasn’t worthy, not quite lady enough, to be wanted for any reason was tantalizing.
After turning the page, she studied it. The man now had half the woman’s dress undone as he kissed her bare back. Despite the heat of the fireplace, Ellie shivered, but it wasn’t due to cold so much as the thought of Darius doing the same to her. It was such a simple process, to undress, but the kiss…
She closed her eyes and imagined it happening to her. The image wouldn’t come into focus, so she opened her eyes. The illustrations were well done and she could easily see them, so they’d do.
She couldn’t wait for what came next, and turned the page. The woman’s dress had fallen to the floor and puddled at her feet. She stood in her shift and stays, her head cocked to the side as the man kissed her neck. Ellie touched her neck in the sameplace, trying to imagine the feeling, but failing. Hopefully, she’d soon know.
As she turned the page, her breath caught. The man had lifted the woman’s bare breast above her limited clothing, and his thumbs lay across the nipples. Ellie looked down at her own breasts, which were far more than a handful, and even now she could see her nipples pushing against her shift. Would Darius think them too big? She’d never had a man touch her breasts, but she was quite sure she would like it. She hadn’t even had a man kiss her or take her hand, until Darius.
She sighed, hopeful but also afraid to hope that her life could continue on such a wonderful track. She’d never had such luck before. She read the single sentence below the illustration.Always this…
Always curious, as she’d seen the book do these back-to-back pages before. The next page would be a reprimand of some sort. She turned the page and stared at the drawing, at first not sure what she was seeing. The woman was completely dressed and against a brick wall of some kind, the skirts of her dress in the front bunched up to her waist, as the man, who looked completely dressed, stood against her. At the bottom it simply stated,Not this…until later.
Nowthatwas a puzzle. She turned the page again to find the couple back to being half dressed. The man now had no tailcoat, waistcoat, or shirt as he held the woman, her torso bare against his as he kissed her. His other hand held up her shift as it grasped her behind. There was so much to the undressing part. It would be so much more practical to wait until nighttime, when each had little on their person.
Ellie turned the page. The illustration took an interesting viewpoint. It was from behind the woman, who lay on the bed looking at the naked man, but this was no ordinary naked image. His masculine member jutted out like a horse’s did, and thewoman was reaching for it with her hand. Ellie ran her finger over the man. It was most indecent of her, but she yearned to feel that piece of anatomy. As awkward as she’d known the copulating act to be, her friend’s smiles when hinting at it told her it must be satisfying. She did long to be satisfied in that way.
She yawned and glanced at the clock, noticing the room was growing lighter. It was after six in the morning! Closing the book, she quickly rose and buried it back under the linens in her chest. Crawling into bed, she pulled the covers over her and closed her eyes, willing herself to sleep. After turning over a couple of times, she threw off the covers, finding them too heavy. She kept thinking about the illustrations. She needed to think of something else—the planets.
Yes, she would think about the eight planets and all that was known about them. From the sun, they were Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Ceres. First was Mercury…
—
Ellie rushed toward the stairs. It was past noon and she had yet to break her fast. What would Darius think? Did he know that Peter was better? Of course he would. No doubt Anna had sent word first thing in the morning.
She ran down the stairs, anxious to talk to Darius, but her foot missed the step. She grabbed for the banister, catching it just as her behind hit a step. “Oof.” She sat down hard, the breath knocked from her.
Her heart raced at the scare, as she still had at least a dozen steps to descend. She set her hand against her chest, chiding herself for not holding the rail as she’d been taught. It wouldn’t do her any good to fall and break her neck just because she was embarrassed that she’d slept so late. The time wasn’t terrible if she’d attended a grand ball, but to be reading her secret book until dawn wasn’t acceptable.
Impatiently, she waited for her heartbeat to slow a bit before getting to her feet, her legs shaking a bit.
“Beacham!” The yell came from down the corridor and echoed in the entryway.
The butler scurried past, disappearing in the direction of her husband’s study. Thinking of the wordhusbandcalmed her nerves a bit, and she smiled. How wonderful that simply having a husband could make her feel so happy. Slowly, she continued down the stairs, her hand tight on the banister. When she reached the entryway, she increased her pace in time to hear Beacham address Darius.
“You yelled, my lord?”
She reached the study to see Darius raise his right eyebrow at his man. “I did indeed. Has Lady Ferncroft—”
She stepped around the butler. “I have. Or I believe I have. If not, I’m sure I will.”
“Ah, here you are. I was about to inquire of Beacham if you had broken your fast.” Darius looked at his butler. “You may go.”
There was something about her husband that had changed since yesterday, but she wasn’t sure what it was. However, the change in his studywassignificant. “Darius, you have changed this room about.”
