He scowled. “How would I know how she spends her time with other gentlemen? When she’s with me, she focuses wholly on me.”
“And maybe she does the same with other men. She’s just come out and has a number of men who are interested in her. I’m sure, if she is intelligent as you say, she is weighing their characteristics and deciding which would best suit her.”
Teddy ran his hand through his hair as he walked away before he turned back, his eyes narrowed. “And what about love? Love is an emotion. It’s not a logical weighing of pros and cons. Love is something you feel.” He snorted. “But what would you know of that? I should have searched out Mariel. At least she has a heart.”
Insulted and hurt, she rounded on him, dropping her arms and pointing a finger at him. “Do you know that Elsbeth loves you? Has she told you so? Has she let you kiss her and whispered in your ear that she loves you and wants to be your wife?”
His face turned red. “I would never kiss her unless she felt that way.”
The pain in her heart seemed to burst inside her chest. She lashed out. “And have you kissed her?”
He stared, her implication reaching him.
She nodded curtly. “You’d best figure out what you will do if she doesn’t fall in love with you.”
“I don’t have to stand here and listen to you. You have no idea what it’s like to be in love. It’s not all logic and knowledge. No wonder no one wants you for a wife.”
Her heart stopped beating for a moment, but when it started, anguish filled her.
Teddy stormed out, and she crumpled to the floor. She did know what it was to love and not be loved in return, and despite all her efforts, it was killing her. Tears flowed as silent sobs wracked her. If only she could go back to being ignorant about love. The knowledge was far too painful.
Chapter Nineteen
“James, you needto talk to Lady Joanna.”
At his aunt’s unannounced entrance, he stiffened. He sat back in his chair, the book he was reading, or trying to read, still open on his desk. “Actually, I don’t.”
She strode forward, uninvited and stood across from him. “Yes, you do. I don’t know what caused this rift between the two of you, but you need to be the gentleman and repair it.”
“Me? I’ll have you know I did nothing. She came at me accusing me of despicable acts and then left. It’s clear the woman doesn’t know who I am.”
Unfortunately, his aunt decided to sit in one of the two stuffed chairs before his desk. “What did she say?”
He crossed his ankle over his knee. “The words were too unladylike for me to repeat.”
“Oh please.” She waved him off. “I’m a grown woman. Tell me.”
He sighed. He’d known this would happen eventually. It had been a week, and she had held her tongue, but even she noticed there were no Mabrys beside Lord Mabry at any event they attended. It was as if they’d vanished. Mayhap they had returned to their country estate. He’d tried to carry on as if nothing was amiss, but his aunt was far too intelligent, and she’d obviously deduced that him being in his library the night of Elsbeth’s ball had something to do with Joanna.
She patted the arm of the chair. “Come, James. You know I only want the best for you. I’ve helped you many times before. Don’t you think talking about it might help you with a plan of action?”
Oh, she was good, appealing to his intellect. It was also an exact quote from himself, and she knew it. “Fine. Lady Joanna accused me of telling her students’ mothers that I would not recommend their daughters to my peers if they attended her school.”
Her eyes widened and her hand found her chest. “James, you didn’t.”
He scowled. “Of course I didn’t. I told you, the woman doesn’t know me.”
“What else did she say?”
He blinked in surprise. “Isn’t that enough?”
“No. What else? Tell me everything.”
He thought back to that night, as he had every day for a week, though he didn’t want to. For the first time, he’d not simply known what he wanted in his life, but he had craved it. Her accusations had been crushing. “She said when I kissed her, I pretended to care.”
“You kissed her?”
He dropped his foot to the ground and stood. “You know I did. After our waltz, in the garden. She was wrong. I did care. But she thinks I encouraged her only to undermine everything she planned. It was ludicrous.”
