He couldn’t manage a smile, so he motioned with his head. “Please tell Monsieur Armand to send the bill to the Duke of Northwick at Haven House.” Turning to the two ladies, he bowed. “It has been a pleasure.”
As they said goodbye, he was already headed for the door. Stepping on to the pavement, he paused to allow a couple to pass by him before he retraced his steps, back to his waiting coach still another street away. Every sound hurt his ears from the whinny of a horse to the call of a flower girl to the chatting of the two men behind him. Weaving between those out for a stroll, he was almost at a run by the time he reached the coach. Not waiting for his footman, he opened the door himself and jumped in. “Haven House!”
Within seconds the coach started to move, the din of the street muffled by the walls. He closed the curtains to block out the sights as well.
“I hate London.” His voice broke the relative quiet of the coach, making the statement hang in the air as if a tangible thing. To him it was. Old memories of his mother saying goodbye as she left him at Haven House with his father, lying to him and telling him she’d see him soon when she’d planned to be gone for three months. His older sister holding their mother’s hand, her confidence in their mother’s love as great as his own…then. Until…
He spread his knees and lowered his head, focusing on taking deep breaths. It had been years since this had happened to him. He’d thought himself far beyond the age of his panophobia hysterica, not having had any panic terrors due to vapors in nearly a decade. It was the city. He hadn’t stayed more than a sennight before this year. He should have found a wife in Peterborough, then he could have remained at Burhleigh Park.
Even as he thought of the vast pastures and full forest of his ancestral estate, his heartrate slowed and his chest loosened. It might be time to go home and find his equilibrium again.
Sitting up, he rested his head on the back of the seat and closed his eyes to better concentrate on home. It had always been his home except for the few years when he’d been sent up to Oxford for his studies. That too had been an adjustment, but not too difficult. His classes and activities had filled his days until he fell into bed after studying, completely exhausted. It had been an exciting time for him.
He grinned at the memory of finding a pamphlet on sexual positions hidden in an old book he’d bought. That pamphlet had made the rounds and then some. It was the first piece of reading material he’d ever thrown away, but not before experiencing every position illustrated. It wasn’t nearly as civilized as the pamphlet Lady Joanna had pulled from his stack.
He opened his eyes, the humor of winning that particular argument raising his spirits. She had wanted to learn everything men learned. Next time he was in her company, he would have to teach her more. Only by doing, did one fully understand all the concepts in that area. As a gentleman, it was his duty to enlighten her, within certain limits, of course. Whatever her views on education, she was still a lady.
Chapter Eleven
Joanna walked armand arm with Mariel down Fleet Street toward their coach. She scanned the people on the other side of the road.
“Joanna, whatever are you looking for?”
She turned her head back to Mariel. “I’m just looking.”
“No, you’re not. You’re looking for someone. Who is it?”
She chuckled. “You’re very observant. Yes, I’m looking for the Duke of Northwick.”
“What makes you think he might be here. Did you receive a note from him?” Mariel leaned in closer. “Are there feelings you’d like to confess in confidence?”
Joanna whipped her head back. “Not at all. I’m looking for him so as to avoid his company.”
Mariel’s brows lowered in confusion. “I don’t understand, then.”
She patted her sister’s arm. “Yes, I’m being rather obtuse. Allow me to explain. Over the last few weeks, whatever public outing I was about, the duke also attended. You remember at Vauxhall?”
Mariel nodded.
“Then at the lecture Amelia, Father, and I attended, he arrived, when he’d specifically said he would be at a recital.”
“Did he give a reason for changing his plans?”
“He did, but they were suspicious. Lady Caroline was there as well. It could be that he heard she was attending and so changed his plans, but we still argued.”
They stopped at the coach, and the footman opened the door and set down the steps. She waited for Mariel to situate herself before following. Once inside, she continued. “I’m relieved that today we never happened upon the duke.” The fact was, now she felt guilty. She hadn’t confessed while at Haven House. Her father and the duke had engaged in a long debate about the polar ice caps descending into civilization, which had allowed her to finish the smaller book she’d started. But since her father was in their company, she’d never had a chance to tell the duke she’d taken his book. Her father would be more than disappointed in her if he knew, and she hoped to avoid that.
“You won’t be able to avoid him for long. We have Lady Elsbeth’s coming-out ball in less than a fortnight. Mother is quite taken with Lady Astor and pleased we are all going as a family.”
She grimaced, having forgotten about that. Though she doubted she’d be able to discuss her issue with the duke there, she was pleased for Teddy. “You mean all of us and Teddy. I do hope he conducts himself appropriately instead of like a besotted fool.”
Mariel gave a soft laugh. “He really is taken with her. I wouldn’t be surprised if he called the next day and asked for her hand in marriage.”
“Oh, I hope not. I know he has a passion for her, but how well could he possibly know her?”
Mariel’s gaze drifted to the street outside. “A great passion is not always about the intellect, Joanna. Sometimes the heart just knows.”
She knew that look in her sister’s eyes. It was a mixture of love and loss. Only Mariel, of all of them, had given her heart completely. Reaching across the carriage, she touched her sister’s knee. “Was it worth it?”
