She twisted beneath his hands, and he let her go, giving her room to choose her words, her story. He’d decipher what he needed to once she started to talk.
Joy moved around behindthe chair she’d been sitting in and grasped the back of it. That was a position she’d taken at her own home. A defense mechanism? With him? Or everyone?
“Alan was a good man. We’d been seeing each other for well over a year. I could tell he was thinking of proposing and I was ecstatic.” Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. Not surprising.
He didn’t say anything, letting her decide when tocontinue. It was more likely to be closer to the truth than if he pushed. He hadn’t had many suspects with her personality, but enough to know she would tell the truth if he let her.
She looked down at the chair as if viewing her life on the seat. “He’d talked often about having a family, getting a place up in Prescott where we all could go during the hottest months in the valley.” She glancedat him. “That’s what we call the greater Phoenix metropolitan area.”
He nodded to show he understood, his patience waning, but his training kept him quiet.
“I thought the idea was lovely, but never explained to him why it might not work like that for us.” She paused again.
Did she let her career get in the way of her happiness? In a way, it was ironic when compared to how his career had ruinedhis.
Joy gripped the top of the chair so hard, he noticed it adjust away from her pressure.
“I tried to tell him as soon as I realized his intentions, but it never seemed the right time and the couple times I started to, we were either interrupted or I lost my nerve. He was such a good man. Finally, the day came that I both wanted and dreaded. He proposed.”
And what did you say?The thoughtbegged to be spoken, but at the same time he noticed his hands had curled into fists. He forcibly relaxed. Rule number one, never get involved with a suspect. If he did that, he’d lose all his objectivity.But she’s not a suspect. She’s your partner.
Joy was back to staring at the chair seat. “I said yes, of course. I loved him with all my heart. But before he could slide the beautiful diamondsolitaire onto my finger, I curled my hand and told him the truth.”
Her gaze finally lifted to meet his. “I told him I couldn’t have children. I told him of the genetically malfunctioning uterus I once had and how the doctors said it had to be removed when I was sixteen. I assured him I was happy to adopt as I always saw myself as a mother and even grandmother.”
Despite his trained objectivity,Malcolm’s gut spasmed with anger. The pain in Joy’s watering eyes told him the end of her story, and he wanted to bash the man that had hurt her so much.
Oblivious to his feelings, she continued with her tale. “He closed the lid on the ring box and rose. He was shocked. He wanted to know why I hadn’t told him before? Why I had let him fall in love with me when I couldn’t give him the family hewanted. I tried to tell him we still could have a family. There were so many ways to do that, but he just kept shaking his head. He was actually in tears.” Her own tears cascaded down her cheeks, and she wiped them away carefully with her index finger, obviously concerned about her make-up.
It took all his willpower to remain standing on the other side of the chair she used as a shield. He wantedto take her in his arms and tell her the man didn’t deserve her.
Why?
Only because she was his partner. That was it. He just wanted to offer her comfort because he couldn’t have her an emotional mess. That’s the only reason he had to clasp his hands behind his back to keep from going to her.
She gave a half-hearted chuckle and attempted a smile. “After that, I refused every wedding invitationI received, and there were many. I know it was silly, but I just couldn’t stomach seeing people so happy when my love affair ended so terribly. I was on a wedding strike.”
Now the trip with Holly made sense. She’d called off her strike. “But why Luca’s wedding in particular?”
This time her smile was real. “Because Coco was right. Theyaresoulmates. Their marriage lasts forever.”
“The happilyever after you never got.”
She nodded then shrugged. “Silly, I know, but I really do think that the wedding can come in handy later. Don’t you?”
He didn’t disagree. He held out his hand. “Come here.”
She strolled around the chair and stood to the side of him, though she didn’t take his hand. Not that he could blame her. He now knew she had some depth, which made him trust her abilities enoughto work with her.
He motioned toward the chair. “Please.”
She gave him a regal nod and took her seat again.
He didn’t resume his. Instead, he walked to the window and put his back to it, well aware it would leave his face in shadow. “All three of us, you, myself, and Holly, have suffered the loss of a loved one in three different ways.”
“Of course! You’re right. So how does that fit into thelarger scheme of things? Neither you nor I had a second chance.”
His wife popped into his mind, but he brushed that away. They were never consummates, so her influence on him was minimal. “But Holly could have.”And so could they.
