Bath. Too wet.
Bed. Too soft.
Books. Too wordy.
Veranda. Too bright.
Finally—after layering in one solution at a time—I lay with my back on the slightly cooled tile in between four lounge chairs, two on each side butting each other with their backs to me, and the thickest blankets from my bed draped over top to cocoon me in darkness as I mindlessly played with the countless colors of my magic.
Although not as acute, my unprovoked anger still simmered like bubbling lava that threatened to explode its confines at any moment—and currently, the only thing keeping it from doing so was the small catharsis using my magic gave. Well, that, and the coolness of the tile against my flushed skin.
I heard Kai’s soft footsteps before the click of the handle. I closedmy eyes. Counting to ten, I took in a deep breath and reminded myself it was her duty to take care of me—but godsdamnit, did she have to be so diligent?
“Good evening, Lady Nyleeria,”she called, and I clenched my fist so tight I thought my bones might crack.
In an instant, the fleck of bright colors floating in my sanctuary shifted to a blood crimson before sputtering out, stealing the only reprieve I’d been able to find today. “I told you not to call me that,” I snapped.
“I’m sorry?” Her voice was light as she whipped the sheets back to reveal the last vestiges of sunlight painting the sky.
Doing everything I could to hold my temper, I jumped to my feet and walked past her onto the veranda in search of any semblance of rational thought the sprawling vista might provide.
“Lady Nyleeria?” she asked, voice concerned.
I could’ve sworn Iheardmy tether snap as I whirled on her. “I told you not to call me that!”
Her cat eyes widened in fear as she took a step away from me. “I… I apologize.”
“You apologize?” I barked. “I don’t want your apologies; I just want you to do what I fucken ask.”
“I… I…” she stammered again.
I took another step forward only for her to take another one back.
“Why are you here?”
“You… you didn’t come for dinner, so I brought you some food and thought you could bathe.” Her gaze darted to the side, and I tracked it to find a dinner tray.
Clenching my fists at my side, I chocked back the power that begged me to unleash it on her. “Leave,” I managed, barely keeping my voice calm.
“I really think you should eat.”
“I. Said. Leave!” I gripped the tray by the edges and threw it against the wall, enjoying the sound of shattering glass and clattering cutlery.
She frantically looked between the tray and me before slowly backing up until, finally, she left.
Logically, I knew Kai had done nothing wrong, but emotionally I couldn’t bring myself to feel an ounce of guilt. So, I didn’t.
After that, I tossed and turned for hours, feeling uncomfortably hot in my own skin. When I was sure there was no way the Dream Realm wouldn’t welcome me, I decided to take advantage of the ungodly hour, knowing the palace and its grounds would be desolate with the exception of a few well-placed sentries keeping watch.
I slipped on a light shirt, long flowing skirt, and a pair of shoes, then wrapped a shawl around my shoulders to account for the slight wind that’d picked up about an hour ago.
I would’ve preferred to take a swim in the lake, but I didn’t know the grounds well enough to navigate during the day, let alone at night, so I opted for the massive courtyard off to the east.
It was a lovely summer evening, and the cool breeze dancing along my skin was the first thing that hadn’t stoked my ire in a while. Slipping out of my shoes, I sat and wiggled my toes through the short grass.
“Fuck.” I sighed, rubbing my face with both hands as I mulled over everything that'd transpired since I got here and tried like the hells to stifle whatever was burning within me as I thought about what Endymion had said. How he’d implied Thaddeus would’ve taken what he wanted from me, regardless of my choice, and I couldn’t ignore that the sentiment was eerily close to Tarrin’s; how Thaddeus would sacrifice anyone and anything to save our people. Only difference was, Tarrin was wrong—I wasn’t an exception to Thaddeus’ rule.
“Nyleeria?”
