He shifted in his saddle slightly before offering me a curt nod. “It does.”
“Why?”
Endymion seemed to chew on his words for a long moment, so long, in fact, that I began gathering Luca’s reins.
“Because,” he started. I lowered my hands, turning my attention back to the autumn fae. “Sometimes you look at me like I’mhim. Like I’m the monster that tortures you in your sleep.”
I swallowed the lump building in my throat, my blood thickening from the admission. From him mentioning Thaddeus. Unbidden, my thoughts bounced between the two with sharp, clinical comparisons. Ones I didn’t want to face.
“I can handle your ire,” he said in a low voice, drawing my attention back to him. “Your indignation. How you recoil at my touch. And though it takes the will of a thousand stars, I can even survive the tear-filled plea in your eyes for it to all stop—but that look…” he trailed off, shaking his head.
Unfaltering, he held my gaze with a thousand emotions that threatened to tear me apart.
My eyes burned as I whispered my truth. “I have no more to give.”
The crease between his brows deepened. “As in trust?”
Heavy sadness wrapped itself around me like a waterlogged cloak. I nodded, unable to speak.
“You do. I’ve seen it,” he said, becoming animated in a way I’d never seen as he deftly sidestepped his horse closer to me. “I know you do.”
Searing anger incinerated that cloak in an instant. I pulled Luca and myself out of Endymion’s reach. “Why, because I’ve shown trust in you before?” I said, the words acrid. “Being poor of options does not mean I’m rich with trust.”
“Nyleeria, that’s not… I only meant?—”
“Why do you have a residence in the Summer Palace?” I challenged. His brows raised in surprise, but before he could say anything, I pressed on. “Tell me, why aren’t you afraid of the repercussions of betraying Wymond? And why is it always you who seems to magically appear by my side? First, taking Wymond’s place at the summer solstice, then when I’d left the feast. Can’t forget about the na’li, and now—powerless and all—you’rethe one here. Not Caius. Not Artton. Not Sidrick. Literally anyone else that could’ve valenned in. But no. It’s you. Always you!”
His expression shifted, and I knew he wouldn’t answer.
A bitter scoff escaped me, and I shook my head. “You can’t have it both ways, Endymion. I’m grateful you saved me from the na’li. Truly, I am. But nothing you’ve said or done couldn’t be attributed to the fact that I’m the spark, which I’m guessing is more useful to you if I’m alive. Not to mention, I can’t imagine being an enemy of the spark is strategically wise—or have I missed something, Commander?” I dragged out the last word, making sure it hit its mark.
“You’re—” His words were cut off as he whipped his head to the side and wrapped his hand on the pommel of his sword before I’d even heard the twig snap. I couldn’t see anything through the trees, but my body coiled, now on full alert.
“I need you to stay here,” he ordered in a low voice as he sidled up next to me before handing me a hidden blade from his back. “Don’t throw it. Fae are faster than you’re used to, and you only haveone shot. Keep it hidden. If you do use it, go for the heart.” Cerulean eyes bouncing between mine, he pressed down on the hilt in my palm as if needing to connect with me. “Understood?”
His intensity brokered no room for negotiation. I nodded, and in a flash, he’d dismounted, dismissed his mare, and disappeared into the woods.
My fae senses were on full alert, and while I’d assumed I’d be able to hear where he’d gone, I wasn’t able to filter out what mattered from what didn’t—rendering the heightened ability useless.
“Damn it,” I breathed, annoyed with myself.
Blood feverishly pumped through my veins as anticipation mounted with each passing second, and it didn’t help that Luca’s tail continued to swish in short bursts, sending every nerve on fire. When I couldn’t handle it anymore, I went to dismount, and as I gripped the pommel, the tiny hairs along the back of my neck stood at attention. Sliding the dagger between Luca’s saddle and pad where I could reach it, I slowly turned my torso to check behind me.
“Well now little lady, you’re a hard one to track down, let me tell you.” The male clicked his tongue as if I’d disappointed him in some way. My grip tightened on the saddle, and my mind raced for a plan. He was only fifteen paces or so from the back of Luca, but I had to squint to make out his features, and even then, they seemed distorted in a way I knew magic was at play.
I didn’t know much, but if this fae was trying to obscure his identity, he was no friend of mine. Though benign, magic washed over me. Hoping I could either talk myself out of this or buy time for Endymion to return, I decided to gamble and prayed for Lady Luck to be on my side.
“Apologies,” I said with as much affability as I could muster. Flashing a brilliant smile, I took in a deep breath and mustered all the sickly-sweet propriety of the upper-class. “I’m so grateful you found me. Stars…” I brought a hand to my chest. “I never meant to stray from Lord Caius, but this beast of mine has a mind of his own.” Ioffered a little half-giggle as I patted Luca gently for effect, and almost broke character at how unnaturally still he’d become. “But the Mother knows I love him anyway,” I forced out, despite my mounting panic. “No worries though, I’m on my way back to the palace—our High Lord needn’t be concerned. And to think, he sent you all this way for nothing. Apologies again for any inconvenience I may have caused.” Holding my composure, I tilted my chin to him, then turned for the reins.
“Now, hold on just a minute.”
“Yes?” I said, swallowing my dread enough to draw the word out with the arrogance I’d heard my grandmother use a thousand times before when she’d asserted her dominance.
“Lady, I’m under orders to retrieve the spark—and that’s what I’m going to do.”
I gasped audibly, placing one hand over my mouth and the other over my chest—and for the first time in my life I was grateful for Cassy’s over-the-top storytelling, or maybe how Eithan and I mocked her mercilessly. Looking aghast, I lowered the hand from my mouth and placed it delicately over the one on my chest. “Oh!” I exclaimed, then paused for dramatic effect before fanning my hand as if trying to shoo away the blush that didn’t exist. “I’m flattered, dear sir. What an honor to be mistaken for the realm’s greatest prize.”
It was impossible to discern his reaction through the distortion, but for the first time the weight in his stance shifted as if unsure, spurring me on.
