Within a few minutes, the soft forest ground gave way to sand as we broke the treeline’s threshold. I halted, dropping the reins, and stared at the twin waterfalls greeting us, their beauty cascading through an open crown of the mammoth cave across stone-still waters. Soft mist poured out from the front, like smoke slipping through a legendary beast’s maw on a sigh of relief.
The lake that separated us from the falls was a mirror of the Clarian Sea, the snow-white sand at the bottom capturing Varo’ light like a welcome beacon.
Without a second thought, I gave in to the water’s summons, needing to wash the day off. My rucksack made a softthudon the sand upon being abandoned. I stripped without a care as I jogged toward the tantalizing waters, leaving a trail of clothing behind until I was uninhibited. Hastily freeing my hair, I kept pace as my toes hit the shoreline. Within a few strides the water deepened, and I let it catch my momentum as I fell forward, allowing its embrace to envelop me like a perfectly chilled salve.
Limbs splayed, hair wild, I floated on my back and listened to the churning sound of the waterfalls as I marveled at the star-speckledsky, noting how some stars seemed to flicker like a candle in the wind, while others streaked the midnight sky with their beauty as they fell—I wondered if any of them had reached their new destination, finally finding everything they had hoped for.
Damnation below, had it really only been days since these same stars would’ve witnessed Luca and me streaking across the land in search of our destination?
My thoughts drifted to thebefore.To when Nevander had carried me into the palace. The truth the fates had shown me of Thaddeus’ betrayal followed next.
“Fuck,” I murmured, rubbing my hands across my face. Righting myself, I moved toward the shoreline a stride or two, then rested on my knees, the water now grazing below my clavicle as I watched the moon’s reflection bob in my wake, thoughts swirling.
Thaddeus had killed my parents—or given the order. A shudder rippled through me, the water echoing the tiny movement. He’d declared he loved me and exchanged blows with Tarrin; that he would take it all back if he could.
It wasn’t until that moment that the sick, twisted truth hit me; I’d bonded with Thaddeus over my parents’ deaths. He was my knight in shining armor, literally whisking me off my feet and offering me safety and shelter—and I’d let him.
I’d fuckenlethim.
Hands grabbing the sides of my head, I screamed into the darkness with everything I had at the sick and twisted cycle he’d created. The perfect storm for me to bond to him over the trauma he’d inflicted. Gods, I couldn’t have made it easier for him if I tried.
Disgust crept up the back of my throat, and unlike the anger, there was no questioning that it was for myself. I’d willingly spread my legs for him; in this very court. Seven hells, I’d been naive; desperate for any scrap of affection I could cling to.
Two men had shown kindness to me in this life—and despite not being in love with either, I’d bedded both of them.
I couldn’t let myself spiral. Not then. Not there. I mustered asteady breath and flexed my toes into the silty sand, its cool grit pulling me back from the brink. It would be so easy to loathe myself. To break. To blame. Instead, I recognized a deeper truth. I’d been thrown into one impossible situation after another and blindsided more times than I cared to count. No, I wouldn’t own Thaddeus’ betrayal. One thing was certain—I’d be damned before I let something like that happen again. Though, stars knew courting betrayal was near impossible when incapable of trusting—a notion that offered more comfort than it should.
Feeling a slight nip in the air, I needed to get dry. Standing tall, I gathered my hair and wrung it out, only to pause when I tucked it behind my ears, the tips of my fingers absently grazing my ears. I froze in place, momentarily startled.
Strange how something so familiar was now foreign.
I couldn’t avoid the truth forever. Steeling myself, I raised my fingers to explore the curvature of my fae ears, halting a hair’s breath away by some irrational fear. Being fae was a foregone conclusion. Yet, my heart pounded as I stood frozen in place; tiny rivulets of water rolled off the tips of my hair, tickling the soft skin of my back as they made their way home.
“Don’t be a coward,” I chided.
With shaky fingers, I tentatively traced the new, elegant shape of my ears, surprised to find they were just as malleable as before—if not more so.
“Nyleeria?”
I yelped, swinging around to face the beach only to find a bewildered Endymion at the shore.
“You’re…” he said, drawing out the word.
“Naked. Yes. And you’re staring,” I shot back, grateful my voice and wit didn’t betray my mortification. My only saving grace was that Varos was at my back, shadowing my naked frame. I prayed to the gods it was enough to obscure my features.
His narrowed eyes didn’t so much as trail past the bridge of my nose as he assessed me in the quiet way he always did before saying, “Apologies.” His cool, clipped tone sent gooseflesh skittering up my body, and it took everything inside me not to wrap my arms around myself. I’d be damned before showing him any hint of embarrassment.
Before I could respond, he leaned over and scooped up my top, holding it toward me as he turned to avert his gaze.
Annoyance shot through me at the gesture. How did he think this would go? He, what? Held out a shirt in a silent command, and I’d slink in shame to obey? It’ll be cold day in this court before that’d happen.
“I’m good, thanks,” I said, popping a hand on my hip. I may have been ready to get out, but I’d do so on my own bloody terms. Not his.
His grip tightened on my shirt, the fabric bunching, the sight of it dusting my lips with a saccharine smile.
“Nyleeria,” he said as if sensing my defiance, patience waning.
“Look,” I shot back, unable to stop myself from digging in, “last I checked, I was expressly told—by you—that this was my home and I should treat it as such. That,Commanderis exactly what I’m doing. So, feel free to scurry back to the palace and leave me in peace.”
