Male.
My pulse stuttered as I realized the Fates hadn’t returned me to my memory—they’d thrust me into his.
Into Endymion.
Seeing it as he had.
Feeling it as he had.
I sat back in awe, the breadth of my shoulders moldingto the curve of her magic, its dome glittered like mine used to—a trait unique to me, or so I’d thought.
Its beauty was at such odds with the terror, and salty tears that filled my nostrils, the dome thick with her anguish as she flinched from the crackling magic like each one was a physical blow.
She was only a long sword’s distance away, but there may as well been a chasm between us given how helpless to save her from the memory.
I’d wondered why she’d trembled from the innocent touch as I’d lifted myself into her saddle—I no longer had to wonder. What she’d been through, no one should’ve had to endure. She’d pulled me into this bloody nightmare like the Dream Weaver himself, and any doubt I had about being her kintoran had vanished the second I’d realized what she’d done.
This wasn’t possible. At least not anymore. But what the fuck did I know? The spark was no longer some wild, untamed magic of the gods. It was this living, breathing, brave, stubborn, kind-hearted, indomitable woman bound to me in a cruel twist of fate.
Her magic was beautiful. The glittering brightness reminded me of stardust. I loved how it was the complete opposite of the dull, lifeless void mine had become. Unable to stop myself, I ran my hand along her shield, marveling at how the white sparks seemed to pull toward my fingertips.
It didn’t matter that this was a dream—it was real to her—and as her small screams shifted to exhausted whimpers, and I prayed to the stars her body wasn’t under the same duress as the projection of her. With how hard she shook, I was genuinely concerned her fragile human spine might fracture from the strain.
“Nyleeria,” I said, voice low, trying to reach her. Desperate to get he out of there.
She flinched, pressing herself harder into the dome, making herself smaller—if that was possible—just to garner even a fraction of distance from me.
Fuck.
I dragged my hands down my face. That was a reckless decision. What Thaddeus had done to her. How she’d survived such a thing. Of course she cowered away from a male’s voice.
I’d felt the moment she’d prayed for death, but by some miracle she was still here, with me. It was selfish to be grateful she’d survived knowing now how she cursed the miracle every single day. Maybe not overtly, but still.
The dome faded as my essence separated from his until I no longer saw through his eyes.
Heard his thoughts.
Until, I was me.
I stood in the strange white, anti-void Endymion and I had found ourselves in the last time this played out—only he wasn’t there.
Instead, a little girl no older than seven, now cowered at my feet. I knelt, and as I, bright-green eyes ravaged by tears stared up at me. With a soft, comforting smile, I reaching out, tucking her mahogany hair behind her rounded ears.
My eyes burned with unspent tears as my heart broke for her in a million different way.
I knew her fate, for it was mine, because she was me.
My past sniffled and wiped her nose unceremoniously against her threadbare sleeve. “You came,” she said, her voice small and uncertain.
Leaning back on my heels, I wiped a tear from her cheek. “Of course I came.”
She heaved in a couple of ragged breaths, emotion threatening to consume her. “Why”—she sniffled again—"did you leave me?"
“Oh, sweetheart,” I said softly, “I never left you. I’ve always been here.”
She shook her head vehemently, tears tumbling to the ground. “No,” she sobbed. “You didn’t stay and fight for me. You left. Lethimshut me away.”
It was suddenly hard to swallow, my own emotions bubbling. I knew theheshe meant, and she was right. I had given up. I’d givenup so many times on her—on me—on us. I’d been so afraid that I didn’t listen to the part deep down that had known it was wrong to allow Thaddeus to pull from me again. I hadn’t fought for her—for the part of me that whispered sweet reminders that I deserved better, until she was forced to buck.
