I can’t do this.
The words haunted me as we walked because more than anything I needed them to slide out of my mind and off my tongue into reality. But every time I went to open my mouth, Caius’ words flooded my mind.You are the spark. I’m not saying it’s fair, but you must choose to survive over all else.It wouldn’t matter if I gave voice to the words that railed against our forward movement; none of the commanders would risk me, and my protestation would only cost us precious time.
I hated the burden of the spark. That was no secret. Stars, I’d offered to give it up more than once. But I’d never hated its burden more than in that moment because it wasn’t just me paying theconsequences. I had the power to create worlds coursing through my veins, yet I was helpless.
Mother. Father. Cassy. Leighton. Mrs. E. Kaelun. Tarrin. Sidrick. How many more would I fail? How many more would have to pay for my existence? For my mistakes? For me, not being good enough—strong enough—to save them?
Endymion snagged my focus as he glanced at me over his shoulder, dark brows furrowing as he caught my expression. I looked away, knowing one day—perhaps today—I’d fail him, too. And gods help all of us all if it was Wymond who made certain of it.
Artton halted so suddenly that I nearly walked right into him. “What is it?” I whispered, trying to look around him to no avail. We were in a narrow corridor, and stopping like this made me acutely aware that there wasn’t enough room to draw swords if needed.
He didn’t answer, opting to raise a hand for me to be quiet instead.
My heartbeat pulsed in my ears as Endymion jogged away from us.
Ten seconds went by.
Then twenty.
Then thirty.
My breaths came in heavy, and it felt like the walls were closing in on me. Something was wrong. I was trapped.
Little mouse,Njal’s voice seemed to whisper in my mind, and my chest constricted further, stealing my breath.
A hand rested on my shoulder, and sound escaped from my lungs, forcing Sidrick to wrap a hand around my mouth to muffle the scream.
“Deep breath, Nyleeria,” Sidrick soothed quietly.
The sounds of my breaths were harsh against his fingers as I breathed through my nose. In a blink, Endymion had shifted places with Artton, features deeply etched in the low light as I looked at him with wild eyes. Sidrick released his hand, but I couldn’t move,couldn’t speak as the spark thrashed against the confines of the poison, trying to break free as if in warning.
“What is it?” Endymion said, worry slipping into his clipped words.
I broke my restraint, grabbing for his forearm as if connecting us would allow him to feel what I did. “Something is wrong.” My voice betrayed my panic. His eyes bounced between mine like he was trying to read my thoughts.
As if conjured by my words, the ground beneath us rumbled. Endymion pulled me into him just in time for us to hit the wall, only to be thrown in the opposite direction. He grunted, but his grip on me never faltered as he caught his balance enough to wedge a foot against each wall, steadying us as the world continued to sway. His ornate leathers pressed against my cheek, and I closed my eyes, focusing on the feel of it as I fought desperately against the sense of vertigo that threatened to consume me.
I was losing any sense of reality as a heady feeling came over me—like the dream realm itself had crossed over into my waking life. Wrapping my arms around his torso, I clung to him. Clung onto reality.
“Endymion!” Artton yelled over the chaos. “We have to get out of here.”
“I know,” he yelled back. “Get to the end of the corridor. We’re almost at the courtyard.”
He spun us around, and my stomach nearly betrayed me.
“Small steps,” he ordered, then released me.
The second his hands left me, a tremor threw us, and we crashed into the wall. Trying to find any equilibrium I could, I pushed myself off the wall and held both arms out in aTto catch myself no matter what way I was tossed.
Small steps or not, it was like walking on a thin plank in the middle of the Clarian Sea during a high storm.
The tremors became incessant, and I wasn’t even sure we were actually making progress.
As it got progressively harder to stand upright, the vertigo began to get its way until I couldn’t handle it anymore. Then, just as my body was about to give up, everything stilled; the lack of movement so sudden it threw us to the ground.
I lay there, trying to sort through which way was up.
“Keep going,” Endymion demanded, and despite the command in his voice, it still betrayed his panic.
