Caius’ mandated rest meant I could no longer outpace the thoughts hounding me with constant action. In the quietude after Kaelun had dismissed himself to say his goodbyes and spend some time with the love of his life, those thoughts finally caught their quarry; and apparently, they didn’t care how tired I was; they’d get their pound of flesh.
I was forced to admit that I was scared, and I fucken loathed the feeling. Give me false bravado. Something to fight. Stars, I’d take tears over the stomach-dropping feeling that stole my appetite. I was scared of possibly coming face-to-face with Wymond. Ideally, we’d sidestep that confrontation altogether. But a part of me believed I wouldn’t be so lucky when it came to Thaddeus. Besides, it was different between the king and me—it was personal.
He still didn’t know I was fae or that I’dchosento leave. I was also terrified that my dream would come true—which, incidentally, was the culprit for my sudden onset of insomnia. I also had no idea how the twins would react. Would they be happy? Relieved? Pissed? Stars, how would they deal with me being fae? Had Thaddeus treated them like he’d treated me, his offered safety a siren’s song to cover his lies and make soured brew taste of honey? Or were they merely captives, thrown into a dungeon to rot away in the vain hope I would come; or perhaps use them to hurt me if I did.
This could all be a terrible mistake. Hadn’t Grandfather raised Cassy and Leighton to believe me cursed? Hadn’t my own mother called me a changeling? Hadn’t they both been right? They’d never really accepted me as human; would there be a greater distance between us now that I was changed? What if they refused to leave? If they did come, how could I hold the burden of their anger and resentment for what’s happened to them, to our parents?
“You’re awake.”
Kai’s soft words nearly threw me out of my chair as I yelped in surprise. “Hells below and heavens above, Kai!”
The sides of her mouth curved up. “It’s not my fault you choose not to use that perfectly good fae hearing of yours.”
Standing, I rubbed my face. “Human habit, I suppose.”
Narrowing her feline eyes at me, she stepped forward in that lanky—if not elegant—stride of hers and tapped my forehead with a bony finger. “Too loud up here, I suspect.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I said, swatting her hand away.
She smiled, then turned away from me toward the bed, gently laying out what I thought was clothing that had been draped over her arm, though it didn’t look like standard courtly fashion.
Curious, I joined her at the foot of the bed and halted when I realized what they were.
I looked up at Kai. “These are for me?” I breathed.
“Caius had them made for you.”
“He did?”
“Yes, you silly girl. Do I look like I’d fit in them?”
“Oh, Kai,” I said through laughter. “You’re something else.”
She waggled a finger at me. “And don’t you forget it.”
Shaking my head, the humor slowly faded as I took in Caius’ gift—a set of leathers made just for me. I traced my hand over the delicate scaling of the midnight-blue leathers, the sigil of the spark pressed on the inside, with the Summer Court’s insignia shimmering in gold at the bottom of the lapel.
“When?” I asked.
“He commissioned them when you first arrived but was waiting for the right moment to give them to you.”
“My very own fighting leathers,” I choked out. I’d seen mercenaries clad in them and wished I’d had a set of my own. Eithan and I watched them train with leathers, overtly jealous of the perfect balance of flexibility—allowing mobility—and strength. We’d sit there, providing commentary how we liked the color of that one but the sleekness of another, almost always bickering on our way to the training ring over if movement or protection were more important. I was on team sacrifice protection for lighter, more agile leathers. Eithan was on the opposite side of that spectrum.Screw leathers,he’d said.I’d take proper armor in a battle any day.
A sad smile painted my lips from the memory. Holding the leathers up, I realized it didn’t matter which camp we were on, I could almost hear Eithan’s long, loud whistle before he’d say,Damn, Ny. Look at those.
“Yeah. How about that, Eithan,” I whispered aloud to the ghost of his memory.
“Shall we?” Kai asked, her tone uncharacteristically soft.
I nodded, the movement kicking a few tears loose. Wiping them away, I handed the leathers to Kai, who helped ready me.
Now dressed, I stared at myself in the mirror. The white bandolier with the golden grips of the blades peeking out against the deep blue of the leathers was nothing less than a vision. A custom holster was now settled on my left thigh, and due to its magical ability to shrink weapons so I could comfortably travel with the daggers from my old life—save the one still lost to the Autumn Court. Most comforting of all was Eithan’s dagger sitting on my right hip, and the instant I slid it into the sheath, everything seemed to click into place. I was… ready.
“Sit,” Kai ordered, and I obliged. She gathered up the length of my hair and began to braid it.
I shifted in my seat, testing the leathers. They were tight butmoved well with my body. And no matter what I did, I couldn’t find any inefficiencies in the design. I’d be able to grab and throw at will.
“Would you stay still for a moment? You’re worse than a bairn,” she chided as she tried to finish the delicate braid of my hair.
