“I wasn’t talking to you.” Tarrin said, finally turning his focus back to me. “You seriously told them?”
I shook my head. “Not intentionally. We were looking for a way to protect the spark by stepping into a memory, but it went horribly wrong. I’m so sorry, Tarrin.”
Artton scoffed. “Don’t you dare apologize to him.”
Tarrin clenched his jaw against the pain as he threw off the sheets and made to get up. Artton stepped forward, but Caius gave him a warning look. I pressed a hand on Tarrin’s shoulder. “Please Tarrin.”
Jaw still clenched, he took in my pleading eyes before finally letting out a sigh, crossing his arms, and sitting back.
Taking my hand off him, I gave everyone a moment to collect themselves as I righted the chair and sat back down. Taking a deep breath, I said, “Tarrin, what happened?”
His expression darkened, but at least he was only focused on me now. “I don’t know.” He sighed, uncrossing his arms and making a helpless motion with his hands. “All I remember is that we were frantically looking for you, terrified that Wymond—or worse, Amos—had taken you.” His eyes searched mine. “Why are you here, Ny? Who took you away from us?”
Heart kicking up, I closed my eyes and worried my bottom lip. Stars, I’d completely forgotten that they didn’t know I’d left on my own volition. Bracing myself, I said, “I know Tarrin.”
“Know what?” he asked, utterly lost.
“I know…” I managed with as much calm as I could muster, “that Thaddeus was responsible for my parents’ deaths and that the twins were taken to control me. No one made me leave. I packed a bag, had Luca saddled, and rode as far away from that gods-forsaken palace as I could.”
The look of wounded shock on his face stirred something in me, and my magic began to pool. Howdarehe. How fucken dare he look at me like that. No. That hurt and anger belonged to me, not him. He had no right to be upset that I left. The only emotion that should be looking down at me right now is contrition.
He moved to reach for me. “Don’t,” I said, putting up a hand.
He had the audacity to look like I wounded him before he reached out again. “Ny. It’s me,” his voice shifting into a hurt plea, like I was withholding something he was entitled to.
I stood up, and it wasn’t until I looked down at him that I realized just how angry I was with him. I was grateful he was alive—I was—but that did not wipe away his betrayal. It did not erase my hurt. Tarrin was alive, but we were far from okay.
“Ny, please.”
“Stop calling me that,” I snapped. “You don’t get to come back into my life, call me by my nickname, and pretend like nothing happened.”
“Ny—”
“How exactly did you think this would go, Tarrin?” I said throwing my hands up. “Did you all think that I was so young and naive that… what, I’d be like, ‘Oh, it’s totally okay that Thaddeus tried to kill me. No big deal. What? You knew the man that you’ve been mentally fucking me with—without my knowledge or consent—was responsible for my parents’ deaths and lied about my siblings. Sweet, love me a good plot twist.’ Do you seriously think that little of me?”
“Ididn’t have your parents killed,” he snapped back.
A humorless chuckle escaped me. “No. You’re right, Tarrin.Onlybeing complicit should absolutely absolve you of any responsibility. My bad.”
“You know that’s not what I mean.”
“Save it, Tarrin.”
I turned to leave and heard him struggling to get up, no doubt to follow me. Well, good luck with that.
Ignoring the pained sounds coming from him, I walked forward, the others parting for me as I exited.
“Ny, please,” Tarrin cried out before the door closed behind me.
Kaelun followed me as I made my way out of the suite. My anger shifted to silent tears, and I turned to my shadow. “Can you please valen us down to the lake?”
“The one you can see from the residence?”
I nodded.
“Of course,” he said, offering me a hand.
I’d only walked about ten paces from where Kaelun valenned us in before I kicked my boots off and sat on the sandy shoreline. I’m not sure how long I got lost in my thoughts, but my hands weren’t interested in being idle after a while, so I did what any fae in my position would do—I played with magic.
