The four of us stood back in the room we’d departed from in silence. It wasn’t a strained silence, but a pause, a breath, a moment to readjust back into our realm.
Back. We were back.
I hadn’t realized how on edge I had been at the Summer Court until I almost wept with relief at simply being here.
The same emotions ran across the faces of my companions, and Thaddeus slipped his hand into mine, gently squeezing—a silent apology.
“Let’s not do that again anytime soon,” Tarrin said.
The words cracked something in me, and the released tension came out as a half-laugh, half-sob.
“Another five hundred years would be too soon,” Nevander said, and his dry humor made me laugh in earnest until tears ran down my face.
It didn’t take long for Tarrin to join in, and before I knew it, wewere all caught in fits of laughter like the day I’d shattered the windows.
There were worse ways to cope.
Shortly after, I bathed and slipped into bed, even though it was midday.
Just as I closed my eyes, a soft knock sounded at the door.Damn it.I just wanted to sleep. I threw the blankets aside and stepped toward the door, wrapping my silk robe around me. Opening the door, I found Thaddeus holding a tray of food.
“I brought you something to eat,” he said, eyes soft with apology. I assessed him for a moment, deciding whether to accept this gesture or turn him away.
I slid to the side, letting him pass.
He set the tray down in the sitting area that overlooked the gardens, then focused on me, waiting. I joined him, taking a seat in one of the oversized chairs.
There was a large bowl of stew, a fresh buttered roll, and a slice of chocolate cake with raspberries. I heaved a sigh. I’d never been more grateful for comfort food in my life. I smiled inwardly at how such simple things brought me joy. I didn’t like how big my life had become—how uncomfortable it was to be stretched so far. Being back, bathed, and fed—these comforts allowed me to start contracting back into my natural shape. Sure, I had stretch marks from the journey, but I was slowly coming back into myself.
I picked up the stew and let each bite warm my soul as Thaddeus sat beside me, silently staring out into the garden.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, worry etching his face.
“I’m okay. Raw, but okay.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I think it will just take time. Although, you being a jealous asshole doesn’t help matters.”
Shame crossed his features. “I know. Iamsorry, Nyleeria.”
“Are you?”
“Of course,” he said earnestly, brows knitting in confusion.
“Sorry enough that it’s something you won’t have to apologize for again? Or are you saying sorry just to get me to drop it so you can get back into my bed, then accuse me of being a whore when someone smiles at me?”
He breathed in deeply, then leaned over and ran his hands through his hair. “I…” he tried but stopped short.
I sat back, the plate of cake in hand, and tucked my legs beneath me. I let the rich, chocolaty goodness melt in my mouth, savoring every morsel. I was unconcerned by his internal battle.Thiswas something he’d have to figure out, and it genuinely had nothing to do with me. I was content to let him sort it out while I enjoyed that tiny slice of heaven.
Finally releasing his hands from his hair, he faced me. “I’ve never been this way before,” he said, “and believe me when I tell you that I heard as much from Tarrin and Nevander when you left today.” I smiled inwardly as I envisioned it. “I want to promise you it will never happen again, give us both that peace of mind. But the truth is, there’s something primal about me that reacts to you, to others being near you. I get angry and irrationally jealous. Watching you dance with them, be close to them, laugh with them… It drove me mad, and then you disappeared with Endymion, of all fae. He’s, well…”
Stars, he was afraid, insecure that I would choose a perfectly crafted fae male over him. Endymion was enticing, to be sure, but to take a fae to bed…the idea had never crossed my mind, no matter how beautiful he was.
I softened and rested the plate on the table, facing him.
“I understand. If a woman was openly fawning over you, I’d be upset too. But withher, Thaddeus, not you. With what we have…I trust it means you’re not sharing your bed with others, but your reactions suggest you don’t extend the same courtesy to me, and it feels like an assault on my honor. And if I’m being honest, when you behave like that, it pushes me away. Makes me want to guard myself, deny you access—because your insinuations…they hurt.”
