He slid in behind me on the saddle, pressing his body against my back as he reached for the broken reins with his calloused hands. His rich, fresh scent mingled with the lingering eucalyptus in my hair.
Too close. He was too close.
No. I can’t do this. I’m okay. I can do this.
My traitorous body trembled, and I clenched my jaw, trying anything I could to get it to stop.
Endymion froze behind me.
“Nyleeria?” he asked, breath caressing my ear.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to hold it in, trying to stomp it down. Despite my efforts, a deep, guttural sob escaped me.
Slowly, so slowly, Endymion dropped the reins and dismounted. Without a word, he flipped the leads over Luca’s head and started south, toward the Summer Court.
My hands shook fiercely enough that holding on to the pommel was nearly impossible. While I held back the sobs that bobbed in my throat, begging to be released, there was nothing to be done about the never-ending tears that traveled down my cheeks, across my neck, and onto the collar of my soddening shirt.
Endymion led us for hours. Never faltering. Never looking back.
He eventually brought us to a small stream and stopped, finally turning to face me.
“Let’s rest here,” he said.
Coming over to Luca’s side, he interlaced his fingers, offering me help down. Averting his gaze, he stayed still and didn’t try to help me as I rebalanced after finding solid ground.
Endymion untacked Luca with little effort and placed my belongings next to the gear.
The stallion gave an appreciative huff before making his way to the stream for a drink, then lazily meandering through the field as he grazed.
The water was refreshing against my face, and when the ripples from my hands dissipated, the oranges and reds and pinks of dusk reflected back at me. I slid my gaze up to the heavens and found that the first speckles of glittering stars had claimed their place in the sky. Nightfall wasn’t far off, and I looked forward to exhaustion pulling me under.
A fire wasn’t necessary, but Endymion readied one as I took my shoes off and let the gentle stream flow over my feet. The crackling sound of the fire filled the still air, and its rich familiarity soothed my soul, beckoning me toward its promised heat.
I stared into the red and orange hues of the flames that danced separately and as one, with the same numb vacancy that’d blanketed me all day. No amount of time would’ve sufficed for me to recall a single landmark from our journey—at least not the terrain itself. The landmarks I recalled were of a different nature: The cascading waterfalls that shifted to a mere dribble, slowly creeping down my face. Trembling quakes gave way to aftershocks that restlessly yielded only after being fully spent, a volcano of emotions on the brink of erupting, finally bubbling back down.
Stars, I was drained. My muscles were sore, and my jaw ached.
Silently, Endymion handed me a plate of food, which I mindlessly consumed, still entranced by the fire.
Endymion sat across from me, eating, worry shadowing his features as he took me in.
“I’ve laid out a bed for you,” he said quietly, indicating a dark mass to the side.
Unable to speak, I nodded in acknowledgment, forcing myself to finish the last dregs of the measly dinner, made for the makeshift bed, and retired for the night.
Palms forward, I raised my trembling hands toward Thaddeus’ back. The tremors that took hold were nearly uncontrollable, threatening accidental contact before I was prepared—before I could brace myself for what came next.
Endymion stood sentry to my left, confusion and shock riddling his features. Nodding to him with resolve, I shut my eyes, concentrating on the task at hand.
My palms pressed against his cool, soft skin, and Thaddeusreadied himself. Knowing what came next, my body began to revolt as bile rose to the back of my throat.
No. I can’t do this.
I went to release my hands, break the connection, but his unspoken spell reverberated through my mind.
Chapter 54
Thrum…
