But I must be heartless if she is to live. I reach for the discipline that has sustained me since her soul summoned mine, but all I feel is infatuation and glorious arousal, followed by bitterness and rage for what I cannot have.
For what has beenstolenfrom me.
Anger roils as I try to breathe and count in order to stave off the shift, but it’s much too late. Beneath my skin, my bones begin to thicken. I distill to shadow to seek out the cover of the forest and re-form into a grotesque, excruciating half shift as the god curse erupts.
Mindless, I open my mouth and roar.
Chapter Nineteen
The king is missing.
He has been absent for over two weeks now and no one, not even Ani or Ziba, or even Razulek and Indira, seems to know where he has vanished to. Or, at least, they’re not confiding in me. Then again, everyone here has so many secrets, what’s one more? I have my own problems to worry about, namely the last pieces of my memory, which I suspect are the most critical ones.
I know by now who I am and why I escaped, that people who I thought were my friends are my enemies, and that my magic has been weaponized. By the king of Oryndhr.Javed.
When I push, I see vague snatches of another royal, but my emotions are so conflicted about him for some as yet unknown reason, warring with some deeper instinct that I can’t pinpoint. Gods, why can’t I justremember?
The cursed cuffs heat, and I know exactly why I cannot. My blood simmers, magic coiling in my veins with nowhere to go—the despicable runes on the bracers flaring to suppress it.
Sands, I need to get some of this frustration out! Get some answers! Do something!
I reach through the bond.Razulek.
Miss me already, little queen?he answers immediately, and though our connection is not limited by distance, I am guessing he’s not near the castle. Fond affection rolls through the bond and my breathing eases.
I need to see you. Please.
He pauses, and I feel guilty for pulling him away from his paternal duties. I’m about to tell him to ignore my request when I sense him again.Meet me in the meadow beside the castle.
Hurriedly, I dress in a fresh set of leathers and run out of the fortress as fast as my feet can carry me. It doesn’t take me long to jog through the gardens with the marigolds and a thicket of trees to reach the wide expanse of field beyond. I wait impatiently there, staring into the sky. Eventually, a small speck grows larger and larger, blotting out the sun as my azdaha gracefully lands, the gusts from his wings nearly toppling me over.
Wondrous awe fills me as I take him in, marveling at the shiny emerald scales that glint with shades of chartreuse and teal in the sunlight and the long, elegantly frilled spines from his crown to the tip of his barbed tail. I wonder idly if his hatchlings will look like him or Indira, or be a combination of both. Or even another color altogether.
His snout nudges my head as he lowers to a crouching position, one wing splayed downward toward me.Let’s fly, and then you can unburden your thoughts.
The notion of riding him so soon fills me with joy, and as I scramble up his extended wing to the pebbled divot at his neck, a sense of rightness settles inside of me. Akasha ripples between us, weaving our auras together, and I marvel at the instant connection that holds me in place. The magical tether with this mystical creature is still astounding to me.
Grasping his spines, I tighten my thighs and brace as Razulek launches off his hind legs with a massive pump of his wings, taking us high into the sun-drenched sky in a matter of seconds. My stomach feels weightless, but I’m not afraid. I know he’ll never let me fall. We climb steadily for a bit and then he spreads his wings wide, coasting on the winds above the clouds. I tip my face to the warmth of the sun, but my heart still weighs too heavy for me to truly enjoy it.
What’s troubling you, little queen?Razulek rumbles.
“I feel lost... and afraid,” I say aloud, knowing he can hear me—speaking the words helps me to parse my chaotic feelings. “My memories are inconsistent, but the terror I feel is real. Like something is brewing and I have no idea what it is. I need to know what’s happening. Is there anything more you can share about your time in Oryndhr that might jog my memory?” I stare balefully at my wrists. “Or even how we can get these starscursed cuffs off?”
His big body heaves with a few flaps of his wings as he thinks, his head curving back with a slitted, jeweled gaze narrowing on my cuffed wrists and flashing with rancor.Much of what I remember is pain. The collar they shackled me with had their symbols that repressed mymagic. I tried everything to remove them, even my fires, but nothing worked.One eye swivels to mine.And until you, I despaired of everfeeling the blissful touch of akasha again.What does your simurgh say?
“She’s a captive as well,” I admit. “Our magic is bound.” I inhale a ragged breath, fingers tightening on his spines. “What do you know of the rulers there?”
There was an older king, but I saw him only once. The queen reeked of darkness, and her son, who eventually became king, was worse.
“Javed.”
Razulek huffs.I know not any names, but he was cruel. He wanted me to bare my neck and submit, but I never did. No azdaha has ever been forced to serve the sons of man. I was glad when I heard of his death.
“Wait,” I say, frowning at the revelation, which throws my theories to the wind. “He died? Do you know this for sure?”
The magi who drew the runes on my collar spoke often amongthemselves when they thought I was asleep.He looks back to me again and his lip curls up, baring his teeth in what I expect is a savage grin.And how proud I was, little queen, when I heard you had slain his mother, the foul death magi. I praised the gods for the blessed hand of their vengeance.
I stare at him in shock. “Islayed the queen?”
