He closes his eyes. My ears are ringing, and my face feels flushed. I put a hand to my hot cheek. When he opens them again he fastens them on me and his gaze is so intense I have to look down at the table.
‘That night, the night of the Halloween party, we had rowed. It was the first row we’d had since we got back together. I hadn’t been drinking that night. So, yes, I was angry, but I’d been off the drink for months. It’s not an excuse, I know, but I was only violent when I was drunk. This was just a normal argument.’
‘Why did you row?’ I find myself asking, looking up at him.
‘Because I didn’t really like those women she had started hanging around with. Dorothea and the others. I felt they were trying to keep us apart. They didn’t like the fact that we’d got back together.’
‘Can you blame them?’
He hangs his head. ‘No, of course not. But it was how I felt. I’m trying to be honest.’
‘Go on,’ urges Alison.
‘Anyway, she went by herself. I didn’t like what she was wearing. It was a vampire costume and it was very figure-hugging. I was jealous. I thought her friends would try and set her up with another man. So I waited until she’d dropped the car back home after taking you to yourfriend’s house. She wanted to walk. It wasn’t far. I sat at home, brooding, imagining all sorts. I was supposed to go with her to the party but during the argument I said I’d stay at home. But then I changed my mind and realized that’s what I needed to do, to keep an eye on her. So I put on the skeleton costume she’d bought for me and jumped in the car.’
I think of Josh and his cameras.
‘When I arrived at the party I tried to persuade her to come home with me, but she was having none of it. She was spurred on, I think, by those women.’
I bite my tongue.
‘One of the women, Rosemary, I think, told me to leave. And Ruth just let me go. She let her friends throw me out. I got in my car but I didn’t want to go home, so I decided to park up, near Rosemary’s house, and wait until Ruth left.’
‘The road where you were caught on CCTV?’
‘Yes. The main road. When I saw your mum walk by – it wasn’t very late, not even ten-thirty – I jumped out the car and tried to persuade her to get in. But she was furious with me, started shouting. I pulled her arm and she scratched me on my wrist. I could feel the row escalating but I stepped away …’
I can’t help it. I make a pah sound.
‘When did you ever step away?’
‘I was stone-cold sober. I had control. So I stepped away and got back in the car. I was spotted on CCTV getting back in the car.’
‘Yes, but then you knew there was no CCTV by the towpath. So what did you do, take the car home so it looked like you were there and then lie in wait?’
‘No. I didn’t. I went home to cool off and I stayed there, waiting for her to get back. I promised myself that when she got home we would talk about it.’
I find this hard to believe.
‘What about the mask? It was found near Mum.’
‘I never left with the mask. I left it at Rosemary’s house. I told the police at the time, and it was used in my defence, but I couldn’t prove it and the jury didn’t believe me. There was too much other evidence. My past mistakes, the scratch to my arm, us arguing on CCTV.’
I sit back in my chair and watch his expression carefully. He sounds so sincere but he might be lying …Why would he lie now though?
Did he leave the mask at Rosemary’s?
He looks up at us, his eyes beseeching. ‘I have no reason to lie. I’ve lost everything. Do you think I killed her? Honestly?’
‘Yes,’ I say.
‘No,’ says Alison at the same time.
I turn to her with a raised eyebrow.
‘Please, listen to me, girls. Please.’
His face looks so earnest that it’s hard not to believe him.
