The look in Astrid’s eyes told Freya she felt the same. There was a want that Freya had never noticed before. A want directed right at Freya, right at her eyes and down into her soul.
Hope flared in Freya’s thumping heart.
Astrid’s lips stretched into an awkward smile. A rumbling sound emitted from her throat.
It took Freya a second to realize the queen was laughing.
Freya released Astrid’s wrist and stepped out of her personal space. Astrid grabbed the table with both hands and threw her head back as she cackled. Her laugh was the loudest thing in the room, buoyant and heady. She laughed and laughed and laughed until tears streaked down her face, her entire body shaking.
A couple of sympathy laughs started around the room, but they were quickly stifled by the awkward duration of the laughter. Just as suddenly as she had started, Astrid stopped, and her face sobered. Her features were perfectly subdued; the only evidence of the laughter was her damp cheeks.
“Excuse me,” she said, and rushed out of the room.
Freya dashed after her, guilt clogging her throat.
Chapter Twelve
The unmistakable sound of Freya’s footsteps trailed behind as Astrid stormed from the great hall to the castle, her cloak billowing behind her.
How utterly humiliating. Not Freya herself, though it was hard to deny Freya’d started it. But Astrid had reacted poorly. She’d challenged Freya, knowing exactly what she was getting into. Together, they’d caused a spectacle Astrid had no doubt would be a source of gossip for some time to come.
Somewhere along the way, the absurdity had struck Astrid, and she’d been unable to hold in her laughter. She had laughed with reckless abandon, unable to stop. Everyone would think she was in hysterics—unfit to be queen any longer.
The guards at the castle doors moved aside for Astrid to enter, but she could hardly see them through her tears.
“Your Majesty!” Freya called.
The urge to retreat overwhelmed Astrid. There was too much attention focused on the two of them. When had the barrier Astrid put up between herself and her subjects become so thinwhen it came to Freya? Was there anything left keeping them apart?
Not if Freya was chasing Astrid down the castle halls.
Stars.
Astrid picked up speed. Freya was fast, but Astrid’s legs were longer. Alarmed castle guards—not even of her félag—joined in her stampede, protecting her while she was unguarded.
She grabbed her cloak in her fist and leaped up the stairs two at a time until she was back at her own wing of the castle. Hedda stood at the top of the stairs. Right away, she jumped into action. Hedda dismissed the guards who followed Astrid, thanking them for their service. A responsibility for Astrid’s captain.
More laughter bubbled up Astrid’s throat. Only one orc was doing her job properly around here, and she’d openly expressed her distaste for Astrid. What a fine queen Astrid was, stomping out of dinners and throwing tantrums.
Astrid threw open the door to her antechamber. Down the hall, Freya shouted again. Damn her.
Stubbornly, Astrid slumped into one of the chairs and waited for everyone to catch up. A breathless Freya came in first, followed by Hrothgar and Hedda. Hrothgar looked sullenly at Hedda, but Astrid said nothing to dismiss anyone. She was tempted to tuck her head into her knees on the chair like when she was little. The simple life of merchants with little worry, a lifetime away, appealed to her more than ever.
How she wished for something like parental guidance now.
Astrid waited. The ensuing claustrophobic quiet enveloped the group. She measured the beats between Freya’s frantic breathing until it evened out, then she said, “Leave us.”
There was no question of who she meant byus. Hedda and Hrothgar bowed and exited the room.
“I need air,” Astrid said, and pushed through the door to her bedchamber. The cat yowled as Astrid passed.
She didn’t stop until she was on the balcony. The crisp air of autumn barely cut through her heavy wool, but she felt it on her cheeks and ears. She leaned against the stone railing into the breeze. It centered her to be on the precipice, looking down on the world. She closed her eyes and gulped down a lungful of cold air.
“Your Majesty?”
Astrid opened her eyes. Freya had taken the spot to her right.
Maybe it was not the balcony that centered Astrid after all.
